Dwelling in possibilty.....

When I graduated college, one of the first things I did was make what I call, "my life to-do list". Since June 2007 I have kept a spiral bound notebook in my desk at work with the possibilities that could be my life. Every year, I make new realistic additions (okay yes I would love to go to the Greek Isles, but right now that just isn't realistic to me) and throughout the year I mark off my accomplishments and add the date completed. They are not listed in the order in which I want to complete them, but they are just listed yearly by the new things I want in life as I grow older and mature.

Now of coarse, lose weight, get in shape, get a boyfriend, and get rich seem to be the ongoing project for my life but I do honestly know there is so much more to life than that. I want to live life, not dream about living it. So to commemorate the beginning of 2010 tomorrow I decided to share my personal bucket list.

2007
Wine Tasting - 10/4/2007
Eat at a fondue restaurant
Laser Hair removal - 8/28/2008
Join the Pi Phi Alumnae club - 9/23/2007
Painting or Photography classes
Buy new computer - Apr-08
Buy new couch - Aug-08
Buy new TV
Do a 5K - 11/4/2007
Go paint balling
Dinner Ride on the General Jackson
Nashville zoo
Titans game - Fall 2008
Predators Game - 9/20/2007
Frist Center - 11/10/2007
Camping in TN

2008
Go to the Jack Daniels distillery
Attend class at Viking Cooking School
Go to a Nascar Race
Start a blog - June 2008, and Aug 2009
Go to the Atlanta Dogwood Festival
Go to Cherry Blossom Festival
Parasail (sp?)
Ride a motor cycle
Go on a cruise - Feb-09
Go to Washington DC
Buy a house
Try surfing
Go to Mardi Gra - Sorta Feb 15th, 2009

2009
Get a professional massage Oct-09
Go to Arrington Vineyards
Take sewing classes May-Aug 2009
Go to graduate school
Deep sea fish
Scuba Dive
Tailgate at a football game 11-Oct-09
Ride in a hot air balloon

2010
Go fly fishing
Visit Cheekwood botanical gardens
Go to an IMAX movie
Get lasik
Visit the Redwood Forrest
Become an Aunt :o)
Get a pet

I don't have any new year's resolutions this year. To me, I make (and break) new year's resolutions all year round. But I do think this season is a great time for personal reflection and offers me the opportunity to dwell in the possibility.

Happy NEW YEARS!!!! May everyone have a fun and safe night!

Merry Christmas!

What do we love about Christmas;
Does our delight reside in things?
Or are the feelings in our hearts
The real gift that Christmas brings.

It's seeing those we love,
And sending Christmas cards, too,
Appreciating people who bring us joy
Special people just like you.

By Joanna Fuchs

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas from my home to yours. May your holidays be filled with lots of love, laughter and joy! I want to thank each and everyone of you because to me the true joy of Christmas is in the love shared with family and friends. God Bless! ~ Christy

Tatts

Most likely if you have ever met me you could probably make a pretty good guess at whether or not you think I have a tattoo. If you guess no, you're wrong. I actually have... ha got ya, just kidding i actually have no tattoos.

Tattoos are just not my thing but as someone that appreciates art, I do find the artistic value of MOST tattoos intriguing. When I see someone with a tattoo I begin twenty questions: Did it hurt? Why did you choose that? Why did you put it there? Why did you pick that color, ect....

I know if i ever (no Dad, i wont but if I ever did...) I know mine would have to be something inspirational, something that was for my eyes only, something so sacred to me I would literally be willing to commit to it for the rest of my life. No goofy cartoon, flower or Chinese symbol (or any other foreign language I can't read. Honestly why put a language that is illegible to you on your body? At that point you just have to have faith the tattoo artist didn't actually stamp Dumb Ass on your arm and tell you it means whatever in X language... ) But I honestly don't think I will ever find anything that will fit my standards 100% plus I hate needles!

Anyways, recently in the tabloids was the report of Miley Cyrus and also the news of Rhianna's recent tattoos. While I think Miley should wait until she is a bit older, I still respect her tattoo. She got "Just breathe" underneath her left breast. It is discrete, was only visible to the paparazzi when her arms were raised while wearing a bikini and she chose an inspirational phrase written in black. Much classier of a tattoo than i would have ever guessed a 15 year old pop star would have gotten.

I was also shocked by Rhianna's choice. She is apparently quite the tattoo aficionado including tattoos of stars, guns, ect... nothing i really cared for but her new tattoo struck a cord with me and I actually like it. She had what she calls her motto for life inked in classy cursive font in gray, written backwards on her clavicle so when she looks in the mirror she can read it. She clearly didn't get this tattoo for anyone but herself to enjoy and now "Never a failure, Always a lesson" will be part of her and something she will be reminded of every time she looks at herself. I think it is just very cool she took an unconventional approach to tattooing and really made it more of a personal reminder for her as opposed to the typical decorative tattoo.

Anyways, if you are reading this and have a tramp stamp or a Chinese symbol tattoo-My bad. I honestly meant no offense. Everyone has their reason for how they express themselves, whether it be fashion, speech, blog, and for many-tattoos. Our physical appearance holds so much value in the world today. I just find it interesting the way others choose to express themselves.

Why Do I

One thing I really haven't mentioned much on here is my love for music. That is one thing in life I wish I had been more talented in. But life is life. I can play some simple tunes on the piano and even bust out my flute occasionally and

Self checkout: love or hate!?

Big breakup in the Nashville scene. I have officially decided to end it with Self Checkout!
Here's the inside scoop:


At first, I was drawn to the whole concept. Short lines, no employees shooting you that fake "How are you?" to me as they check me out, and it was like I finally got the opportunity to live my childhood fantasy of playing "store" (You know that game: fake money, sometimes fake food or canned goods, old grocery bags, and siblings or friends play the customers... what can I say, i was an imaginative child! haha) but in REAL life. I finally had the opportunity to swipe real items across the scanner, bag my own stuff, pay the machine and get change back. Such gratification, but the luster of this process has officially grown old.

I decided to go to Wal-Mart today. I don't like going to Wal-Mart normally so I have NO idea why I ever thought going to Wal-Mart 6 days before Christmas was ever a good idea. During this trip, I decided Self Checkout and I are just not going to work out. The whole "it's me not you", is definitely not an excuse that is going to work for this relationship failure. Self Checkout needs to get its act together or it will never have another shot with me. End of story.

First of all, it needs to work on patience. I need more than 1 millisecond to put an item in the bag before it screams at me "Place the item in the bag". And if i didn't hear it the first time, it still keeps screaming at me "place the item in the bag biotch, i got other people to check out"... well that is what I hear anyways.

Self Checkout also needs to learn to listen and pay better attention. Many times it completely ignores me... I get my arm work out in swiping back and forth for five minutes just to figure out it is never going to scan my item. Or it adds too many of the same item to my cart. Then we get in a big fight because it screams at me the weight in the bags don't match my purchases and I say can't get the extra taken off because your telling me I need the manager's approval to fix the credit. Talk about one big mess...

Also, Self Checkout needs to trust. Depending on what I buy, Self Checkout will go behind my back and send someone to check up on me mid way through the process. Talk about trust issues. It should know I am always loyal but without fail, Self Checkout always plays the card "Please wait for assistance" just to be on the safe side. Then 15 minutes later, someone comes and rummages through my bag, checks my id, or types in some weird code into the computer. Worthless.

Ugh, these issues are just the tip of the iceberg but I think I made my point. Too bad this relationship didn't work out like I planned. It could have been great. But I will keep on dreaming the dream of of short lines, with quick, stress free checkouts. Never give up hope right?

Holiday Rankings

Thanksgiving down, T-minus 8 days until Christmas! And only 14 days until the new year- 2010!!!! 3 big holidays wrapped up into 35 days. Now that is what I call 35 days of craziness! With all this talk of holidays it inspires me to rate all the holidays throughout the year.


#1 (aka my favorite): Thanksgiving. It’s hard to beat a long weekend and GREAT food. But it ranks numero uno because to me this holiday is one of the most untainted. No gifts, no issues about religion- its all about family, friends, food about being grateful for the many blessings in your life. There is something for everyone on Thanksgiving: Parade, football, black Friday, and eating and drinking. I give it a two thumbs up!

#2 Christmas: Now technically this should be my number one for all us religious folk but it gets knocked down to #2 just because this holiday true meaning unfortunately gets a little diluted with presents, greediness and the erosion of the tradition and the real reason for the Christmas season. (When did using the word Christmas become politically incorrect? It’s just sad.)Anyways, Christmas still ranks number 2 because to me Christmas means Joy, love, and worship. Plus, Christmas music, lights, trees, family, and holiday parties!

#3 Fourth of July: Summer, Grilling out, fireworks and AMERICA. Need I say more!?

#4Halloween: Candy and costumes always = good times!

#5 Memorial Day: The gateway to the summer months. Summer is my favorite! Grilling out, the lake, boating, the beginning of tanorexcia season, flip flops, and cute dresses!

#6 April Fools Day: because secretly I am evil and love playing pranks on people.

#7 New Years Eve: I am kind of mixed on this holiday. The pressure to find the perfect NYE party, dress, and date can all be a bit overwhelming to me. I wont complain about getting a day off and I also like the idea that people use this as a new beginning making resolutions, and goals (even though I don’t think you need a specific date state a new goal in life)

#8 St. Patricks Day: Comradory, beer, and the Irish! Loves it!

#9 Labor Day: Celebrated the first Monday of every September ensures every year a long weekend to commemorate all the hard work us working class endures. Who wouldn’t love that? But I do find this holiday to be kind of bittersweet. It marks the end of summer and the beginning of the end of the year. But who doesn’t love one last weekend to squeeze in the last little bit of summer fun before fall rolls in (my second favorite season).

#10 Easter: a holiday I love for the tradition and its meaning. The death of Jesus makes it possible for us to be forgiven and gives us sinners the opportunity to go to heaven. That alone makes this holiday awesome included with the fact it is another reason to visit family.

#11 My birthday: My birth… honestly do I need an explanation. Haha but no this un-unofficial holidays gives me a reason to bring friends together and their love and companionship brings me great happiness.

#12 Valentines Day: Listed dead last like the true single girl that I am. While I have know and understand the true meaning of Valentines day, this holiday has become too commercialized and in my opinion has become a way for retail to build up Q1 revenues by charging way too much for flowers, gifts, clothes (cough cough lingerie), and food! Redic. We should spend more than 1 day a year recognizing the ones we love without having an official holiday for it. Just saying.

After looking over this list I am wondering, “did I leave any holidays off (minus some of the minor ones, Columbus, Presidents, MLK day…)” I didn’t realize how many there were! Anyways, those are my two cents. Happy HOLIDAYS! :o)

Christmas Goodies!!!

Holidays and food usually go hand in hand….. Especially Christmas. Christmas cookies, candies, treats, meals, you name it. When I think of Christmas I think of my mom’s cakes she makes every Christmas season (Rum, Red Velvet, and Jam Cake), candies (toffee, sherry dream bars) and cookies (sugar, wedding, chocolate chip) and on a side note, my uncles bbq’ed ham. Yum! …. All of these things say Christmas to me.

It’s no news that in the south, food usually equals love. Someone gets sick, you make them food. Celebrations at church you have a potluck. Special occasions are based around the food put on the table. You get the point. So of coarse when it comes to saying thank you and Merry Christmas to my co-workers, I decide to make them FOOD! Haha.

Honestly I just love having a good excuse to cook. I don’t host a holiday party, and I don’t just sit down and bake myself cakes and pies. I like to cook for others. (Like I mentioned in the last post, I am a giver LOL) Every year since I started my job I have brought in red velvet cake cupcakes. This year I decided to expand and give a little more of my personal Christmas favorites to the office (and also squeeze in my new recipe of the week… I have been slackin in that department). This year I whipped up 1 batch of red velvet cup cakes, sherry dream bars (so dang good!) and my new item…. Pretzel turtles.

Pretzel turtles may be about the easiest yet still majorly tasty receipe I have ever tried! 3 ingredients and honestly it didn’t even take me 10 minutes to make. Now that is my kind of cooking! haha

So I will be nice enough and spread the Christmas cheer and give you the receipe. Enjoy!!! - I know I sure did ;o)

Easy Pretzel Turtles

small pretzels
Rolo candies - one bag has about 55 candies
Pecan halves - or optionally peanuts, cashews, and m&m's
Optional: almond bark or white chocolate for drizzling

This is easy as can be! Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Place pretzels on a parchment lined baking sheet. I like to use parchment paper for easy handling, but you can also put them on foil, a silpat, or directly onto the cookie sheet.

Unwrap your Rolo candies and place one on top of each pretzel like a cute little hat.

Place pan in the oven for 3-4 minutes. Any longer is probably too long. You just want the chocolate on the outside to look glossy and melty, but they should still hold their shape.

Remove pan from oven and take a pecan and gently press it right into the center of the chocolate candy

Give or Take?

Can people be broken down into two different categories: Givers or Takers?

We play different roles for different aspects of our life: Career, friendships, family and significant others. Give and take is part of any relationship. On one hand you are expected to give what you can in order to fulfill other's wants and needs and ideally you should receive the same in return. It should be a harmonious balance to maintain a healthy relationship with someone.

My logic is that most times a person will provide a combination of both traits but usually they will lean to one end of the spectrum. Unfortunately, there is no perfect equation of give and take that equals a perfect relationship or decides what works and doesn't. Every couple is different and what works for one may throw another couple off balance. What is most important is that the distribution works for both people in the relationship.

For me, I know I lean more toward the giver trait. Sometimes too giving unfortunately (but sometimes not enough). I like making people happy-plain and simple. But when I think about my past relationships I think I have figured out what works best for me because I have (some unfortunately) experienced people all extremes in this regard.

For most women, we have all dated that "nice" guy. He would do anything for us, give us the clothes off his back, the money from his wallet, he would shower you with compliments, act almost spineless to his own thoughts and emotions. He suffocated us with accommodation.

Then I have also dated the taker. As a giver, I had the hardest time understanding the rationale of a taker. I would start the relationship doing nice things for them, things I knew would make them happy. At first just knowing it made them happy was enough but eventually it became obvious they were not doing the same in return. I didn't understand why they still seemed not to care because to me caring meant reciprocating the acts of love I bestowed upon them. It was as if they got in the habit of expecting certain things of me but with the entitlement that they didn't have to do anything in return or even be gracious. It was like that behavior of 'I give, you take', had become the natural constitution of our relationship..... I ended up with frustration, resentment and anger for them by the end of those types of relationships.

But then I have been in relationships with people with similar dispositions as me. They believed in giving a little but also looking out for themselves. When both parties are aware that relationships take a compromise no one feels like they get the short end of the stick all the time. When both people in a relationship agree each of them both deserve just as much love, attention, and respect as their partner.

The process of giving and taking is different for every relationship. I pass onto you tonight to think about where you stand on the spectrum of giving or taking. I want to challenge you to flip your behaviours a little bit. Try to create a better balance.... If you are a taker, try giving back a little more. If you give too much, try flipping on the bitch switch occasionally (well don't necessarily be a bitch, just ask for what you want or need a little more LOL). It can never hurt trying to be more cognisant of other people's thoughts and emotions and how your actions affect them.

I read somewhere and have come to agree that giving, receiving and sacrificing are how our relationships are tested and hopefully grow.

Blame it on the altitude!

So it is already the 9th of December and I have yet to make a post. Let's just say I took a hiatus from the blog world. So much has happened in a week it was just overwhelming to think about putting it all down into words. Tons of Birthdays and their celebrations, dates (yes dates!), work stress, Predator hockey game, the loss of a dear friend's father, Christmas decorating, and the highlight of the past week.....(Drum Roll Please!) DENVER!!!!


Denver was a blast. It was a short trip (3 days and 4 nights) but a very fun and eventful trip. Piano bar, giant chess playing, Coor's Brewery Tour, Sante Fe Art District art crawl, Winter Park ski resort, hike around a beautiful ranch in Granby, CO, Science Center, tons of fun snow to play in and just good times.

It was nice mixing things up. It seems like every vacation I take I end up in a hot spot destination. "What beach or cruise should I go on next?" kind of thing. But this time, we chose COLD, snow and mountains.

Pink is soo the new red!

Well it will be in my household for Christmas this year. Who needs red and green, when pink and green is way more fun and exciting!?

So Christy's Christmas Crafty Creation (try sayin that 5 times fast! haha) this year was Christmas stockings. Now, when I envisioned a Christmas stocking in pink and green the thoughts of "How would Lilly Pulitzer do it?"came to mind since she has the most awesome brightly colored fabrics. So after dropping a small fortune on some super cute fabric, the time for designing a cute stocking began. I needed some inspiration and thanks to Google and Neiman Marcus, I found some.

The winning look I decided to attempt to recreate for our Christmas this year was this awesome MacKenzie-Childs' Christmas stocking. While I knew I couldn't make something as cute and festive as this $78 stocking, I was sure going to try.

The hard part was creating my own pattern and piecing the pieces together but after that those sewing classes I took this summer finally paid off (well with the assistance of my sewing pro madre) Costing less than $40 of fabric, ribbon, and accessories (and still half left over) and the man hours I put in I made three pretty cute Christmas stockings if I must say so myself . But pretty much anything is cute with a little ric-rac, pom-poms, bows, ruffles, and polka dots!

Let the Christmas season begin!!!!!

The day of Thankfulness

I am in KY sitting in my dad's chair, belly full of Thanksgiving feast, my sister next to me playing the piano, dog sitting at my feet, and less than an hour ago my parent's house was full of family.... I can't help but to feel lucky.

Thanksgiving actually happens to be my favorite holiday. I am one of those sappy individuals that lives up this kind of holiday. I take this opportunity to reflect on everything in my life that I am thankful for. While I am thankful for a good job, a roof over my head, a car to drive, food on the table.... the number one thing I am thankful for this year is the people around me- All my family and my friends. And actually you know what? in my life those words are synonymous. My family are friends and my friends are my family....

My "friends"are my glue- They keep me together. When I am upset, they can tell just by the look on my face or the tone of my voice and know exactly what to do to make me smile. When I need someone to listen or advice they are the people I turn to. When I want to have a good time, they are the people I want to share it with. They don't judge me by the skeletons in my closest or knowing all my "crazy thoughts" haha... They seem to love me for me. I am thankful to be blessed with such amazing friends! Even if my life were bare of all the extra things in life, my friends would make my life full.

"To the world you may just be somebody, but to somebody you may just be their world." I want to thank each and everyone of my friends for making my world! :o)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

Waffles=Sunday Morning Manna!

So in honor of receiving my new waffle maker, I of coarse had to go all Martha Stewart and have my Nashville family over for Brunch Sunday morning. The waffle maker was very user friendly. Took only a couple tries to figure out exactly how much batter to put in and how long to cook for a good waffle. 1 problem we did run into though was the bottom got quite crispy compared to the top. The waffle maker will allow you to flip, I suggest for both sides to be equally as delicious and crispy, flip half way through. But either way, they were DELICIOUS!

Thanks CSN stores!
PS making a Belgian waffle guilt free is pretty difficult but we fared pretty well with fat free ready whip, fresh fruit and low calorie syrup….. Looks good doesn’t it?

The beginning of a new era...

It all started this year. My first close friend got married. 4 weddings(and several more invites) later this year, I got my first invitation to a baby shower. That is when I realized I have officially began a new era of my life. No longer am I in the "college" age group anymore. I am officially in the young adult category. This is just the beginning of many wedding invitations and baby showers.

When I expressed this thought one day to one of my older colleagues their answer was, "You go through 2 major stages in life. First it is weddings and babies. The next is funerals." I was well hey, thanks for being a debbie downer but it is the unfortunate truth.

I am happy being in this stage though. Nothing brings me joy like seeing my friends accept wedding vows and see all the love they have for each other. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I think there is no greater gift to give someone than your undying devotion. And the babies.... gosh I am such a sucker for babies. I hadn't been to a baby shower since I was probably 10 with my mom and at the time I didn't truly appreciate them. So today when I went to my first official shower as an adult it was a whole new experience. Seeing the naivety of a mom-to-be at a shower and seeing the excitement mixed with fear across her face, it was just so innocent and precious. Plus mixed with all the adorable baby gifts, cakes, decor... Anything in miniature is cuter right? haha

Cheers to many more new beginnings!!!

Kickball finale!

Last night was the play off's for our kickball team. It may appear to everyone else we lost, but at heart our team came out champions!!!

Liz stated it best, "Favorite quote of the season-(Q)"How long have you guys been playing together...Ya'll seem to really be a close team..." (A)"This is our first season. We bonded over suckin."" LOL

Until spring season!!!!!

My body is buggin!

If you look at me now it would probably be hard to imagine me being any chubbier than I already am. But in 2005 I was actually at my highest weight. At that point I decided I had to take my life in my hands, and gradually over the course of a year and a half I lost around 65 pounds. From then on I fluctuated around the same 10 pound weight for almost 2 years. I was still chubby but I was pretty happy with the way I looked.

Unfortunately sometime this spring (I dunno if it was the all you can eat cruise I went on in February that kicked all this off or what) but something happened and I lost all concern for staying at that happy place I had been holding onto. I was just so tired of working, counting, and eating low fat foods. But now I get on the scale and the numbers that keep growing higher and higher are haunting me. I don’t want to become that person I knew in 2005. The sad truth is now I am only about 38 pounds away from my heaviest.

My heaviest, skinniest, and NOW:

I want my old wardrobe back, I want the thinner face back, I want the confidence back! So I have decided to do something about it. This time no fad 3-day diet or doing good Monday through Thursday to totally blow it on the weekend. So 2 weeks ago when making this decision I needed something fresh. I was so tired of counting point after point (weight watchers) and decided I need something new to motivate me towards reaching my new goals. After a little research I decided to do the Apex Fitness program and buy a bodybugg.

Now for those that are completely clueless as to what a bodybugg is I will give you a reader’s digest version. It is a band you wear on your left tricep that is 90% accurate at determining your caloric burn. If you have ever watched the show biggest looser, that black thing around there upper arm is what I am referring to. The Apex Fitness program is pretty much just a website that you upload your calories consumed and calories burned and much much more. The websites main focus though is taking the guessing out of your weight loss. Did you know that 1 pound of fat is 3500 calories and if you want to loose 1 pound every week you need to burn 500 calories more a day than you consume? Well neither did I…. This program enlightened my on the scientific side of weight.

This program is pretty easy concept to understand: burn more calories than you consume. When I was researching the program it was like reading déjà vu of a first (and last) date I had with this guy. (Bringing up a woman’s weight is a no no in the first place, and especially with one that has always struggled with it.) Anyways, we got into this heated discussion where he told me basically I made myself fat. It’s called input versus output…..Literally those words came out his mouth on our first date. But no matter how much those words hurt then the fact is it is actually the truth (even if genetics isn’t on your side).

So today was my first official week on the program. I set up my program last Tuesday evening to aim to loose 2.5 lbs per wee . My program was to eat 1350 calories and ensure a burn of at least 2600 calories a day. No problem, and today when I weighed, I had lost exactly 2.5 pounds (coincidence or not I was pleased and now I am 40.5 lbs from my my highest!). This upcoming week though I think I am going to change things up due to the fact there is so much error in actual calorie consumption. Every bite, nibble, or chew has calories and on this program every one matters. I am aiming for 3 pounds this upcoming week, which mean calorie consumption of 1350 and a burn of 2880 calories/day.

This time around I am serious and to prove it to you I will be making periodic updates on my weightloss and if nothing else maintenance. No more of this gaining weight crap, even if the holidays are coming up!!!

Christmas Village

A big part of the woman I have become can be contributed to being in a sorority (actually a woman’s fraternity but who is getting technical?). Coming from a small private liberal arts school where Greek life was very popular, it became a major part of my college experience. Okay yes, sororities do mean parties and mixers but it was sooo much more to me than that. Pi Beta Phi fostered in me morals, lifelong bonds of friendship, philanthropy, scholarship, leadership… And I think it still does today.

As soon as I moved to Nashville one of the first items on my to-do list was joining the local Alumnae club. I got lucky because Nashville has one of the largest Pi Beta Phi alumnae clubs which offers a great network of women (young and old) and also provides us with several philanthropic opportunities.

This weekend was our alumnae club’s big philanthropy event- Christmas Village!!! With over 250 vendors, 6 buildings, and over 25000 people that attend, Christmas Village has raised over a total of 6.6 million dollars over the past 48 years. Last year we raised almost $500,000 of monies donated to the Vanderbilt Bill Wilkerson Center and Arrowmont School of Arts and Crafts.

If you haven’t heard of Christmas Village before it is quite the shopping extravaganza. It offers products of every genre and it is really a shopaholic’s dream come true. (Thank God Friday was payday! Haha) This was my second year volunteering and there is nothing like the feeling of doing something good for others. While my main volunteer efforts goes to the sorority itself (I count the nickels and dimes, aka the treasurer) this weekend I donated time not only to volunteer but yes to shopping (who woulda guessed!? Haha) This year we proudly celebrated our 49th year of this philanthropy and 2009 marked the 21st anniversary of the founding of the Pi Beta Phi Rehabilitation Institute at the Bill Wilkerson Center. While we don’t know the total money raised for 2009 CV at this point, I just feel happy knowing that I am part of something that makes such a positive footprint and raises so much money for such a good cause.

Christmas Village is held at the Nashville Fair Grounds and there are some big concerns for our upcoming years of Christmas Village. With the fair grounds closing down next summer there is a big question mark as to the future of the project. Next year will be CV’s big 5-0 anniversary and I have high hopes the fair grounds will let us use the venue next year and also for record high revenues!

For more information about Christmas Village check out the website: http://www.christmasvillage.org/.

Christy's Kitchen

Everyone that knows me (and/or that can see me) is quite aware I like to cook or at least eat. haha It seems like every holiday my present list is always a collection of new kitchen items that I have been wanting to add to my kitchen collection. On my current list I have (hint hint for all of you thinking about upcoming Christmas presents :o) hehe) a fry daddy, a metal skimmer, a cooking thermometer, a knife sharpener, a saucepan with a strainer, a chef's knife, a salad plate/bowl, spice rack.... the list continues but one thing I have always wanted is a WAFFLE MAKER. I can remember the good ole' days in college when you could go late at night to the caf' (aka cafeteria) and fix up a belgium waffle. Nothing quite hits the spot (especially if you have been drinking) like a big sugary, buttery waffle! So when I got the opportunity to do a review for a product on Cookware.com I jumped on it. This site is or should be a mecca for all people that enjoy to cook and love collecting good quality kitchen products. From Rachel Ray to Emeril (and lots of other great brands/names) you can buy cookware sets, bakeware, cutlery, appliances, tableware.... basically anything and everything that has to do with cooking.

Here is the waffle maker I will be trying. I can't wait to try it out, attempting to make a low fat version of my old time favorite guilty pleasure....I am sure my roommates wont mind either!!!

Donate a life!

This past weekend a few friends and I headed to Jackson TN for one of our good friends weddings. The wedding went off without a hitch and was beautiful! Before heading home we attended one of my best friends hometown church Sunday morning. This past Sunday the United Methodist Church recognized and celebrated Disability Awareness and Organ Donation Sunday. It was a very important day for my friend and her family because not only is her brother autistic but he also had a kidney transplant last year. Having a first cousin that is disabled as well, I watched her brother Stephen two pews ahead of me with the same life and energy that my cousin has. So innocent, so childlike and Stephen was able to sit there happy as a clam all because of the blessing of receiving a kidney transplant. I couldn’t help but smile. Then the guest speaker came on and started discussing the topic of the day, one in which included the reasons behind Stephen’s transplant.

Apparently Stephen lost his kidney due to a staff infection. I guess I had never really asked why he needed to have his kidney replaced. When I heard staff infection the realization came over me that Stephen in this case was like anyone else. Anyone could get a staff infection. I actually dated someone that contracted mursa staff infection from the gym. Luckily his immune system was strong enough to fight it off relatively well, but he will always be a carrier of that type of staff. What happens if later in the life that infection leaves him seriously ill… The fact of the matter is something could easily happen to each and every one of us, leaving us in the position of needing a transplant.

I’ll be honest. For some reason I never supported personally being an organ donor. One time back in the day someone mislead me with the information that if you are labeled as an organ donor, doctors would be more concerned with saving your organs rather than your life. So in my head that was the deciding factor to not be a donor. So when the message on Sunday was about organ donation it was quite the eye opener for me. I just was mis-informed and never took the time to educate myself truly on the subject. Did you know around 18-19 people die every day due to lack of available organs and around 84 thousand people are on the list waiting for organ donation? It only takes 1 person to donate their tissues and organs to help out 50 people! Also, there is no proof or reason to believe that just because you are an organ donor, doctors will not do everything in their power to save your life. On the contrary, first and foremost doctors take an oath to save your life. When and if that isn’t possible, that is when the process of organ donation begins.

Besides the few reasons listed above, there are quite the numerous amount of pro’s on the list of why to become a donor, compared to the relatively small number of reasons not to be. Some people choose against it for ethical reasons or just the sheer fact they don’t want to share their organs or be cut up once you are deceased.

The reality of the situation is that if something happened to me and my only chance of extending my life (or whatever feasible reason) was receiving an organ transplant, I would say “sign me up!”. Then that brings me to the thought in my head, why would I be willing to take someone else’s organs if I don’t offer my organs in return if they unfortunately become available. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right?.....

So today I am going to sign up to be an organ donor. When I die, (hopefully a very long time from now) I will leave this world on the good note of knowing I may save someone’s life, help revive several people’s health, and be a God send for someone in need here on earth.

If you are interested in becoming a donor as well, there are 4 ways to express your desire to become a donor.
1) Sign up for your states donor registration. For all you Tennessean’s the website is www.tndonorregistry.org
2) Declare your intention when renewing your driver’s license or sign the back
3) Print a donor card from the Organ Donor website
4) Inform your friends and family of your decision.

Women=over thinkers!

There comes a time in everyone's life when you feel a bit lonely. Sometimes loneliness brings crazy thoughts to the surface… crazy thoughts like will I end up being a spinster or a crazy cat lady. Okay the truth about me, one of my biggest fears is that will be me. I will be that crazy cat lady. Why? : A)Yes, I love cats. Always have, always will. B) I am about as single as they come. C) Not only am I single, but I am a serial single girl.

Okay I realize that first paragraph makes me seem pretty pathetic, so don't get the wrong impression here. I am not depressed or sitting in my bed crying at night...I am just expressing to you all how I feel on the occasion. I have a great group of friends that I love dearly. A wonderful family. An awesome group of co-workers. I live with 2 amazing roommates and their cat and a dog. I even usually have some sort of guy chasing after me. I am technically not alone. I have all of that but at the same time I am "alone".

Recently a major topic among myself and my single girlfriends has been our current boy craziness. We are just in that time in life when everyone our age is settling down. Our friend group is slowly turning into coupled entities, and besides all that we crave someone special to share our lives with too. We have been trying to figure out all the in's and out's of current relationships or the lack there of. We all have been in such sheer confusion about our serial singleness and unusual boy possibilities. (Even though I look at them and have no doubts because they are too awesome to end up alone). My group of friends happen to be some of the most well rounded people I know. Smart, fun, independent, a vast array of hobbies and interests, social, driven, cute, loyal, and have more love to give than imaginable. So why does no one jump on the band wagon for such amazing women?

The issue though isn’t what is wrong with us, I think it is how we go about men we are interested in. We were all women raised to go after what we want and we were told we can make anything happen if we put our minds to it. But maybe not in this case. The problem may actually be super simple: Guys go after what they want. And also men are born to respond to a challenge. Why else would guys love sports, and fights, and hunting. They like the challenge. Therefore with such a simple problem we also have a simple answer. Play hard to get.

This explains why inevitably the guys we aren’t interested in are always chasing after us - Because we don’t try. We don’t call them, drunk dial them, not attentive to their every want and need….we are completely indifferent. And the funny part is these guys still keep coming back and trying again.

Then on the other hand we rationalize and make excuse after excuse for the guys we like that end up rejecting us. We tell each other its fear of commitment, they are shy, lost our number... whatever. In turn to overcome these "excuses" maybe we make ourselves too available. We make it too easy. Men are the hunters, women are the gathers… If we take their hunt out of dating, maybe it just seems too easy to men. Even if the perfect woman is starring a man in the face, maybe men want to feel like they have earned a prize. So by golly, we will give them a chase because we deserve to find someone that will work hard to get us, that will want to claim us, that will love us. :o)

Bottom line, he's just not that into you if he is letting you slip away.

Everything at my fingertips....

I succumbed to social pressures and got an I-Phone. Succumbing really meaning I have always really wanted one and I am totally excited! LOL The days of carrying two phones, personal and work, are now over with and I couldn’t be more happy. Not only did I consolidate but I am doing it with style, rockin out with my new Iphone 3GS (with a hot pink cover)! While I have had it less than 24 hours at this point, I have really enjoyed having my itunes, email, the internet, instant message style texting, tons of applications (two of my fave being Pandora and Facebook), camera, video and everything else in between right at my finger tips at all times. Basically it is one awesome hand held computer with the added bonus of it including a phone.

Until this point I have always sported the “free with upgrade” phone. I just needed the basics- a phone that got good service, could text, and take pictures. That is all I asked… but when given the opportunity this last round to get the I -Phone I couldn’t pass it up. It has been a gradual change, but in the last two years I have become one of those people; you know one of those people that sends email or texts over making calls. I do facebook chat instead of asking someone to hang out. I read the news over the internet, I map out my driving directions, print off coupons, shop, pay bills, book travel- basically my life functions around technology.

Isn’t it crazy to think before my generation how different the world was and the way people functioned…. Having no cell phones or internet changes things completely. People had to use actual maps to get where they were going. They used a 35 MM camera and film. They had to use a pay phone if they were away from home. If they needed to know something they used an encyclopedia. If they wanted to read a book or write a research paper they went to the local library instead of using Google or Wikipedia. Card games, board games were replaced by video games and online game sites…. People couldn’t screen there calls because there were no caller ids.

Back in the day people had a sense of self and knowledge my generation has lost. The knowledge to take care of themselves, and to work harder for the things they have and wanted to learn. If you got a flat, you couldn’t just call up road side service with your cell to get it changed. If you left the house and someone didn’t know where you were you couldn’t be tracked down by cell, email or pager… You were all on your own. Now our generation has become a group of needy people. We are spoiled with easy accessibility to information, services, and people.

Technology has taken from our generation the pleasure of simplicity, and learned knowledge. With everything and everyone just one click away dating, politics, shopping marketing, recreation, research, hobbies, traveling, photography, communicating have all changed. Kind weird to think if all that can happen in a 25 or so years, what else will change in the next 25?

Guilt Free Must Haves!

Being the good Samaritan that I am, I am going to pass along to you my favorite guilt free must-haves because anyone watching their weight definitely needs to incorporate these foods into their life.

First and foremost is spray butter. For those that know me, you understand that spray butter is a must have for me. It is good on just about anything and is supposedly calorie free and fat free (basically liquid sodium) per 1-5 sprays (use in moderation or it isnt zero anymore... sad but true). Either way, liquid crack is what I like to call it. Trust me after you figure out how wonderful spray butter is, you will be doing the index finger work out on lots of different snacks and meals (you really can feel your finger burn after a certain number of sprays… you may want to consult your doctor before use. LOL)

Secondly, is wing sauce. While normally when you think of wing sauce the idea of fat full and calorie packed Buffalo hot wings come to mind, but the beauty of the topic is the sauce is the part that isn’t that bad for you. My brand of choice is _______(I'll have to get back with ya, it has slipped my mind at the moment) wing sauce and it is fat free and calorie free (per serving) and taste great! Put it on chicken, put it on a salad, or use it as a condiment for a sandwich. You can’t go wrong with a punch of spice that hides all the flavorlessness that is sometimes expected when you think of a healthy meal.

Laughing cow cheese is actually no laughing matter. It is dang right delish, and offered in regular or light choices in several different flavors. This is a new find and love for me even though it has been around for quite sometime. It is super rich in flavor, creamy, and is sooo in calories! Usually when I think of low-fat or fat free cheese I cringe a slight bit because you feel like you are eating “diet” food. Laughing Cow Cheese taste totally guilty and OHH the many ways to use it! (If any of you are curious of good ways to put this cheese to good use Hungry Girl and her cookbooks and recipes utilize this ingredient frequently! http://www.hungry-girl.com/ )

Everyone loves bagels, but if you are like me I refuse to eat them because I don’t think they are worth the cost (aka fat/calories), especially by the time you put some sort of spread on it. But I have found the solution= Western Alternative bagels. They are a bit smaller than traditional bagels but just as dense and chewy while only packing 110 calories. They come in quite the variety of flavors (white, wheat, blueberry, roasted onion, cinnamon…) and are just as satisfying as a regular bagel. It would take 4 or 5 alternative bagels to hit the same nutrition facts as 1 regular bagel… Now that is craziness. Who wouldn’t choose the alternative!? (no pun intended haha)

Last but not least is Cavendar’s All Purpose Greek seasoning. This is no diet food but it is just a seasoning. Can we say A-Mazing! It takes a boring low fat piece of fish or chicken and makes it a delicious masterpiece. It is also amazing on beef products too. Basically Cavendar’s should be everyone’s “secret ingredient” to making even the most ordinary foods amazing without a slam to your calorie count.

This list could go on but these are by far my favorite! Enjoy! :o)

So close yet so far.....

Talked to Crush constantly throughout the weekend though. I’ll admit me likey alot! :o) but part of me feels like I should hold myself back from forming any feelings/emotions with this one…. I have only met him over the course of 1 weekend over a month ago at this point, but he is someone I really enjoy talking too. We get along great and he actually seems to like me back. But there is always the lingering cloud over our heads that our lives are on totally different paths. But right now he is what he is and I wouldn’t take that away. I love having him in my life. He has turned into a really good friend that seems to have a lot of concern for my life and vis versa. It’s nice to feel cared about, even if he is caring 3 hours away…. I will just keep taking it day by day and see where it goes. Carpe diem right?

Noddin my head like "Yeah"!!

This weekend I was living life like a true 20 something. Halloween costumes, late nights, house party, toga/foam parties, bar hoping, friends in from out of town, seeing bar fights, 2 football games in 1 weekend(Vandy/GA tech & Titans!), and everything else in between. Yes I did that all in the 60 hours that we call the weekend. And the beautiful part of it all is that I feel great this morning, fully refreshed and ready to start the week. I’ll post ya some pictures tonight.
In case you were wondering, I finally got the package in the mail from my ex too… He sent me golf balls and golf tees. But not just normal ones, HOT PINK ones! (if you didn’t know, Pink is my favorite color) Not the most sentimental gift. Didn’t know what to expect when he said he was sending something that reminded him of me, but there you go, golf balls… I don’t actually play golf yet in my life, but it is a goal somewhere in there. He also put a little note in there, nothing special, but it was nice. I called him to thank him. Short and sweet call… No lingering, no lets hang out- it was good not to feel any pressure. It was actually like we were kinda friends again. So that was a good first step.

What a Cluster!

I dunno if the last twenty four hours can mostly be accounted for by the bitch switch (the nickname I call it when my despicable alter ego comes around for a few days once a month-cough pms cough… sorry that may have been TMI) or if honestly I have just had a heinous couple days! Leaving work yesterday in an abnormally foul mood for whatever reasons, I hear a blaring sound coming from the back of my car as I speed up…… I had a flat tire! I thought to myself on the verge of a breakdown-Are you serious!?

So only driving like 10-15 mph in the 40 zone, I aim for the next road to pull off into-the Target parking lot (only a few tenths of a mile away). At this point in my day I was getting honked at, flipped off, the whole nine yards. Lovely.

So I pull into the parking lot and get out of my car to be met by a quite attractive man saying, “Do you know you have a flat? I saw you had out of town plates and thought you might need some help”….Even though I was not technically new in town anymore, I was sooo happy that little detail tricked him into helping me- we will call him my knight in shining armor! He took what had been a horrible day, and kept it from getting even more horrible. While yesterday I may have looked like I got hit by the ugly bus, he was still quite the gentlemen. Not only did he completely change my tire for me, he never once complained, he showed me what to do in case it ever happened to me again (okay yes I at one point when I was 16 knew how to change a tire, but it has been a while), he chatted with me and was even quite the eye candy. Thank you God for dropping him into my life to help out and put a smile on my face. LOL

Well besides knight in shining armor my night didn’t get much better. The night continued on, a few hours wasted at Firestone getting some new tires, to be followed up by figuring out I wasted 100 bucks on buying a new gadget at a way inflated price by accident. Then my “crush” confirmed he isn't coming to visit Nashville this weekend. :o( So last night I just decided the best idea would be to just go to sleep so I could end this bad day and the next thing I knew I would be waking up to a fresh morning!...

I wake up this morning before my alarm clocks goes off by the sound of my work phone ringing at me. A random and unnecessary call from a customer that could have waited until I was at my desk at 7:30… Eventually when the time was right to get up I hopped in the shower….COLD WATER! (Come to find out everyone in my house had cold showers this morning- so there may be something wrong with our water heat. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that there isn’t.) With all that said, I did not have the best start to the day and unfortunately I walked into work this morning with just as big of a smile as I did when I left yesterday (it resembled a frown). Anyways, since then I have determined to make today be better. It is Friday! I am going to a festive costume party tonight for Halloween, I have friends coming from out of town and I am going to have a great rest of the day!

So trying to key in on positive things… I keep thinking about my Knight in Shining Armor. Even though I didn’t have any cash on me yesterday he said he wouldn’t have taken it anyways soooo…. I asked for his information so I could thank him later. So now I sit at my desk at work and his business card is starring at me. What to do to, what to do? I must thank this man who went above and beyond helping a damsel in distress. You think he would let me make it up to him over drinks? Hehe To be continued…. :o)

Book Worm

Book Club! Yep, Reading Between the Wines was last night. As always, quite the fun time hanging with the girls; talked a bit about the book, carved some pumpkins, busted out some vino, even dressed the cat and dog in Halloween costumes and enjoyed some yummy snacks. I actually read two books this month, so I will give you a basic synopsis of both of them.

First book I read (not actually the book club book – my beach trip book) was The Lost Symbol…. Dan Brown’s new release. Dan Brown caught my attention first round with Di Vinci Code. Then he totally wowed me with Angels and Demons. I loved both of them. The way Dan wrote fiction with a flare of non-fiction details intertwined with suspense and adventure made me devour those books. So when I bought The Lost Symbol my expectations were high… maybe too high. First of all, as an author you should always aim for creativity and uniqueness while still holding onto your general style as an author…. To me, this book was a poor watered down version of a mix between the Di Vinci Code and Angels and Demons but set in Washington DC. It was extremely wordy and by the late-middle of the book I began to get bored. I honestly felt like Brown lost himself trying to sound scholarly and educated about the science related topic. (This book was based on noetic science.) While I did finish the book- this book was only a few notchs more entertaining than a textbook.
Our book club book this month was Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom. Okay I really enjoyed this book. Such an easy read. If you sat down you could read it in one evening. (Okay I didn’t finish it until last night after our book club meeting, but who is keeping up. Lol) This tale was a non-fiction story about Mitch’s relationship with his Rabbi who randomly asks him to give his eulogy. This building relationship is countered with another developing bond between Mitch and a Christian preacher with quite the sketchy past. This book address’ some pretty deep topics such as God, happiness, faith, death, forgiveness, marriage….and is summed up with the eulogy Albom gave at his Rabbi’s funeral. This book was basically 250 pages of good ol’ fashioned wisdom that everyone needs a dose of every now and then. Not to be a spoiler but the last sentence of the book just says it all for me, “I am in love with hope.” It was a simple book about “faith, hope, serving others and the yearning to be involved in something greater than ourselves...” (Senator Bob Dole). This book makes me want to be a better person.

Proud of my Roots!

Something I haven't really gone into detail about yet is my background... before Nashville, before college in Birmingham- I lived in a wonderful town in KY. I grew up there with two amazing parents, an older sister, my grandparents right next door, and the others grandparents about an hour away... I had a pretty perfect childhood. My childhood was filled with exciting experiences, happy parents and family, and great memories. My mom didn't start working fulltime until I was older and my dad was always around because he was a farmer.

The town I grew up in is a pretty small town, probably no bigger than 1200 people...actually let's just Wikipedia this. I know they have to have an official answer! Yep 1179 people as of the 2000 census. But I lived on a farm about 7 miles from town in an area where everybody knows everybody.

My dad is a 5th generation farmer and I grew up in an my great grandfathers house- the farm house that my grandfather grew up in.

My grandfather and Dad currently manage about 2500 acres. They grow corn, soybeans, hay…; my dad even grows cotton all the way up in KY. They also raise red Angus cattle. It is in my dad’s blood, and he is great at it. My dad, (actually both my parents) are two of the most amazing people I know. Despite common conceptions of the farmer, to be good at it you have to be intelligent. Now not all farmers are as smart as my dad- he really is one of the smartest men I know. He fixes cars or tractors, can wire electrics, welds, builds fences, remove stumps, builds, he can do whatever you want him to do, literally! Not only does he have that kind of smarts, but he also has the book smarts. He understands yields and conversions, knows when to sell grain or cattle for the right price, he translates bushels/tons/whatever to different amounts whether it is a dollar figure or another measurement. He works with chemicals and fertilizer and understands what it does and why he is doing it. All in all he is a well rounded individual perfect for his job. No question that he loves it and that he was meant to be a farmer, probably the same is to be said for the 4 generation of the farmers in our family before him.

Anyways, I went home this weekend for the first time since June. I actually got out about on the farm with my dad. I haven’t done that in a long time and it was WAY over due. It got me thinking about the fact there is just my sister and me. The generation of generations of our direct blood line of farmers will come to an end. Kind of sad when you think of all the hard work that has been put into the farm over the past few centuries. My sister and I didn't really embrace the family business...aka we are not choosing farming as our career. We both moved to the city, to meet city boys (well Sarah did, she actually married one. Me, well I am working on that haha). My parents always urged us to be independent, do what we love… they never forced us to work on the farm unless we wanted to. But growing up in a rural community and living on a farm made for a really interesting childhood. I remember when I was little my sister and I would take an empty seed bag and a garden hoe to the pasture and fill it with thistles. Dad would give us 5 cents for every thistle we got out of the pasture. I have memories of Nutmeg the baby cow that we saved from the winter when the mom didn’t survive. We had to bottle feed him 2 times a day. We painted fences, we rode around on 3-wheelers and 4-wheelers, went horseback riding with our whole family every year for Thanksgiving, we had hay rides around Halloween with the church group, bailed hay, mulched the landscape, picked blackberries, mowed the lawn, went sledding, went strawberry picking with Mimi, went to KY lake, camping with the girl scouts….

One thing though that is important when considering my childhood memories are birds. Birds have always been a part of the mix on the farm too… One year my mom got attacked by geese... Yes, my mother way laying on the ground getting pecked by honking geese while all I could do was scream and hope they got off... Traumatizing day. Haha But we have always had geese. For one of my sister's science projects she decided to make a homemade incubator in comparison to a real incubator. For a few years we went around to the geese nests, collected eggs, incubated and hatched little chicks. We also had a phase when we had beanie (sp?) chickens. You couldn't walk outside our house without rubber boots or your poor shins would get pecked to death. I remember one time I got so scared of those birds attacking me I got on the backend of the semi truck parked by the barn and my grandma had to persuade poor crying me to get down. I still have a deep fear of those little birds! We had a pet goose, we named Goosey. Friendliest bird around and made for an amazing pet (minus the special prizes she left for the bottom of your shoe everywhere!) Just thinking back to all these times makes me realize what a childhood I had and how wonderful the simple life of a farm is for a kid.

At this point I am just rambling, but gosh was it good to go home this weekend!

What's his face

Yesterdays agenda:
7:30-4:00 – Work
6:00-6:45 – Zumba
7:00-8:00 – Kickball Game
8:30-10:00 – Corner Pub

Yesterday was a pretty busy day. Zumba, my new found favorite form of exercising, was a blast! So glad that workout has been added to my routine. Kickball though, while I have fun playing, I just suck at. I am aware of my lack of athletic ability. I dropped a ball last night (Ball approaching catch, I close my eyes, the ball bounced off my chest… yes I suck that much!) and still haven’t managed to make it on base yet after 4 games. Bummer… I think I should win the prize at the end of the season for LVP… Least Valuable player haha. But it is a co-ed kickball team so its all for fun right? So I will keep going, and keep trying. Unfortunately we lost… again, but the fun and socializing with the team at Corner Pub afterwards made up for our failure.

Besides being pretty busy yesterday, I also had some weird things going on in my mind. My mom told me yesterday on our daily chat that my ex boyfriend, (we will call him “what’s his face” cause I use that for all men I don’t think their names deserve the honor of coming out of my mouth anymore.) asked for my address. I wont go into all the details that back up this breakup but if you want a bit more information refer to the post I wrote in September on Faith. Anyways, What’s His Face lives back in KY where my family lives and he works at a bank across the street from my mom’s office. He comes in from time to time and everyone in my mom’s office knows the whole story. So apparently with What’s His Face’s inquiry left my mom’s office with the topic of will Christy and What’s his face ever get back together. My mom being on my side said, no I think those ships have sailed, but everyone else in the office was pushing the fact that they thought I should forgive him, give him a second chance. Honestly, I think it is funny after so long (we broke up the end of Sept 05, he got divorced and made an appearance back in my life May of 2008) that people are still talking about it.

I wont lie, this is a question that haunts my thoughts a lot. I wonder if I could ever forgive him. He has already apologized: Wrote me this long letter of apology, taken me out to a nice restaurant, sent me a huge bouquet of flowers at work, bought me tickets to a titans game, asked over and over to come to Nashville to go out with me…. He honestly couldn’t have done much more. I just couldn’t do it. I could hardly even look at him in the face. I was scared to feel. How do you feel again after you have mourned their loss, their disappearance…. He came back from the dead and it was just something really hard for me to adjust to. Anyway, this past new years I told him I didn’t want to date, I had no intentions of getting get back together with him but I was fine being his friend (honestly I didn’t and don’t know if I am actually even comfortable being his friend either because I am scared.) So we basically stopped all real communication at that point (except for facebook, random email forwards, and the occasional text. He even sent me a birthday card. It was the only card I got on the day of my birthday and actually the only bday card I got from any of my guy friends).

In my head, I had won this time. I loved him chasing after me. I loved knowing he was thinking about me when he couldn’t have me anymore. I loved that I made him feel sad. If I didn’t let him in, he couldn’t hurt me anymore, and wouldn’t have the opportunity to hurt me again….

We have both changed a lot. Too much time has passed and too many things have happened to both of us for us not to have changed. Have we changed so much we actually wouldn’t love each other again if we had the opportunity? I guess we will only know if I open my mind to it, but can I? Am I over it or am I just avoiding it?

Why did he want my new address?! Only time will tell I guess.

Realizations

There are some realizations in life I try to remember throughout my day to day life and when building relationships with people.

Realization 1: Don’t guilt trip.
If someone wanted to do something they would- As simple as that. It’s called free will. Yes we have tools to help change people’s actions such as reverse psychology, make someone feel bad about their choices (aka a guilt trip), and persuasion but deep down all you are doing is breaking someone down. I want the people around me to do things because they want too, because they care. If not, I will always know that that person didn’t do something solely for themselves- I selfishly had to convince someone to do something for me.

Realization 2: Kind words
Say thank you, give compliments, smile, be grateful…. Kind words can be short but their echos can be truly endless… Never forget that. Happiness is contagious! Joy and being appreciative can be medicine for the soul.

Realization 3: Apologies
Only say sorry if you truly mean it. For serious matters, the word sorry should almost be as sacred as the phrase I love you. When you say it you better mean it. If not your words and intentions are misleading and they can be very hurtful to you and all the relationships around you.

Realization 4: You can’t make someone love you
Someone can do all the right things, say the right things, buy the right things, be exactly the person you want them to be but that doesn’t ensure you will fall in love with them. As George Straight puts it “You can’t make a heart love somebody, you can tell it what to do but it won’t listen at all. You can’t make a heart love someone. You can lead a heart to love but you can’t make it fall.” I have learned all you can do is offer your love and the rest is up to the other person.

Realization 5: The golden rule
Treat people the way you want to be treated. I actually stole this from the best book of wisdom ever….the bible. But for such a simple rule of life I try to live by, I and I am sure lots people fail every day trying. If you try to apply this rule to every interaction in your life dealing with other people-family, friends, co-workers, strangers, neighbors, whomever, you’re not just doing good things for those people but often times those people will treat you better in return. I think this rule of thumb helps make the world a better place one small gesture at a time. And even if people don’t give you the pleasure of treating you that way in return, you at least will have satisfaction in yourself, knowledge that you are a good person.

I understand I am just 24 and I still have a lot to learn about life. My thoughts and ideas are constantly changing and most of the time my opinions turn out to be nothing more than elementary level common sense. You would think that theories and ideas that are so easy to comprehend would be easier to execute. Anyways, thanks for reading! :o)

Drizzunk Diarrhea of the Mouth

Booze: are they really a truth serum? Is the phrase "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts" true? Does drinking just cause us to loose our inhibitions allowing us to say things we think often but rarely dare to say (liquid courage as I have called it many times in my drinking days. lol) or are drunk words just drunken words?

Let's make a drunken line-up. There is the shy gone talky drunk, the horny drunk, the fighter drunk, the I love you! drunk, the lets talk about life learned lessons drunk, the bitchy drunk... I mean let's be honest the list could go on forever but is that just our true selves coming into light? When we get crunk (that means crazy drunk in my dictionary), we let our guard down- we don't care who is judging us, who hears/sees us, what the consequences will be... During that time we are at one with our self (often time meaning our thoughts equal our speech).Now I am sure the level of intoxication should be taken into consideration. If you are black out drunk, there is no telling what could come out of your mouth (literally and figuratively haha) but what about other times?I can think of tons of instances off the top of my head when there were long talks, flirtations, fights, jokes, texting, calling, dancing, come to Jesus talks, crying, kisses.... instances that were all influenced by alcohol and most likely wouldn't have happened without it. When a friend puts you in your place, telling you how it is but then doesn't remember the next day... Is that how they truly feel or does the fact they were drunk discount those words as facts, as truths? Or what about those times when someone tells you they like you or on the occasion that they love you (not the I love you, and you, oh and you too kind of drunk I love yous either!) The fact of the matter is, if you are questioning whether or not a drunk man's words are someone’s true honest feelings in the first place, something that was said or done has made an impact on you. Those feelings are something you can't take back- even if the other party doesn't remember.

This question/phrase has been on my mind for sometime now and even more so after a weekend of slight debauchery. Tonight I am making my decision about my thoughts on the subject. I have come to conclusion that if they aren't words spoken in our sober world, then it isn't real....it isn't real truth.Drunken thoughts should be classified as just that-drunken thoughts. Until those words are proven true in sober, thought out logical words, we should just classify them as fiction. And while the truth of the situation may actually be that yes, subconsciously somewhere there is truth to all drunken banter- what does it matter if those words can't stand their own in our present sober life and conversations? If you would have been sober, most likely those words would never have been exchanged, you would have never heard/said them or been affected by them. It’s hard to put what I am thinking right now into words and honestly I don't know if what I am typing right now actually makes any sense. Maybe this is just a coping mechanism I am scheming up to help myself understand life or feel better, but if someone isn't willing to say something to you when they are sober, I think there is a reason for it. Thoughts or those random ideas that run through our mind in the heat of the moment aren't always accurate much less meant to be spoken. I think sometimes when we are drunk we forget that and we should count these inebriated words as part of the entertainment from the evening.

I am sure there are scientific explanations to all this that I am unaware of but in the mean time I could come up with theories and explanations all night long. To me this subject isn’t black or white. Unfortunately, there is the huge span of grey area that I will never really comprehend because there is no right or wrong answer to the way our mind works or the things we think - normally or when we are under the influence (unless we know and understand scientifically how our brain processes). Personally when I drink I can be as honest as a catholic in confession but there have also been times when I have said things I never even knew I thought or considered. Who knows….

Ain't for sissies!

I would not describe myself as bendy, flexible or in shape by any means. So I dunno where I got the bright idea to do yoga. haha Last night I attended my first real yoga class (no those yoga classes I took in college where i giggled the whole time don't count...) I was thinking inner peace, mediation, working on my balance, relaxing..... What I learned last night is there is alot more to yoga than deep breathing and standing on one foot. I was by far the largest person in the class, and the ONLY person in the class that had no experience with yoga. The class focused on stretching, core strength, balance, and first and foremost breathing. It was a great learning experience. I learned my calves and shoulders were really tight muscles (boo for downward dog, which is supposed to be easy! haha) and that I was quite flexible in the hip region. I could feel my body tremble as I held some poses, could feel my muscles burn as they stretched more than like - ever, and I even broke a sweat. Yoga turned out to be much challenging than I ever thought possible, but in a good way. The instructor was awesome, helping me along the way and really motivated to want to come back. My thought is, I can only get better right!? Until next Thursday! :o)

And the survey says.......

Last night I decided to make a transition into my fall self. While hair color doesn't mean alot to some people, some of us embrace the ability to make non permanent changes to our appearance for whatever reason. I have been doing the same thing to my hair for a while now...Blonde Highlights. But last night when I talked to my hair dresser I blurted out DARK BROWN! She said you sure? I was absolutely sure.

Naturally my hair is that ugly brown, its not light or dark - it is just blah. (which hopefully is not my true hair color personality lol) But last night while I was sitting in the chair waiting for my hair to process the thought of change excited me. While no, "I" haven't really changed, my hair has. So much pressure is put on our physical appearance.... Fat or thin, Tall or short, fashionable or not, blonde or brunette.... The truth is we are always getting judged on something. But changes in your hair, whether it is cut long or short or dyed a certain way, can make some of the most interesting impressions. Some say blondes have more fun, are dumb, and brunettes are the responsible ones, the girls you take home to mom- the boring girls. I honestly don't think I fit into either category entirely.... and maybe that is why I like to change things up a bit. I never do anything crazy... No extreme cuts or colors, (I still want to look normal) but I want my hair, my appearance to keep people wondering what truly makes me, because it's true-You can't truly judge a book by it's cover.