Friday, January 29, 2010

The missing post

As I was searching through my computer to find a document that seems to have magically disappeared to no man's land I came accross an unsaved recovered document, labeled document 1. I thought Oh yes, i found my missing file! But no. What I found was the below writing that A) I don't really remember writing or B) Why I wr0te it. (Pre blog days) Anyways, I found it kind of interesting and I thought I would share... It may be over a year late in posting but better late than never right?
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So its official... 2008 is almost over. Tonight I was driving home in the snow, my Christmas music playing faintly in the background, and I caught myself as I do many times behind the wheel in deep thought. Tonight I just kept thinking about how I can't believe it is already practically Christmas and the fact that 2009 is literally days away. It got me thinking…what did I accomplish or more less what have I learned this year about the true meaning of "me"?
1) First thing that came to mind (since I was actually driving home from traffic school and all) was, I think over the past year I have become a much more responsible driver. Yes, it may have taken 3 speeding tickets and 16 hours of defensive driving school to get me here but an accomplishment for me none the less.
2) Life with a pet makes life more complete. I lived a whole year in Nashville and only now am I realizing what I was missing out on by not having a pet. Gellar (the cat), always seem to love you (minus the numerous times he has accidents on your bed, floor, bath mat, ect LOL), is so excited to see you when you get home, he is an amazing cuddlier, never makes you cry, and for some reason even though a cat can't talk or hug can always make me feel better.
3) Over the past year, or maybe just in the last 6 months, I have rejuvenated my hopes on love. Most of you know I have had some cynicism on the whole love arena for a few years now. But this year, not only have I seen several people fall in love right in front of me but I got to see my sister get married. I looked at her and saw the happiness in her and Nick’s eyes and at that moment I knew that true love does really exist and happiness comes with sharing your life and experiences with someone. I realize statistically that relationships are a coin toss …. Some last, some don’t. But there is just something so hopelessly romantic about letting yourself fall someone and promising to commit to them. And I am just thankful that I have that faith back in my life because I can’t wait for that to be me one day. No, I didn’t fall in love this year, and I am glad. Because the relationships I had this past year all taught me a lot about what I want, what I need, and what I deserve … and I don’t plan on accepting anything else anymore. :o)
4) This year I realized how much my friends and family truly mean to me. Going to the Grand Canyon with my parents, having a lake house party with my sister and all our friends, road trips, bridal showers, holidays, late nights out on the town, dressing up and being silly, girls night… all things that have been a huge contribution to my happiness this past year. For all of you reading this right now, I want you to know I love you very much. Thank you for being here for me, for calling me when I needed to talk, for yelling at me when I wouldn’t listen, for laughing at my amazing humor LOL, for being a shoulder to cry on… for everything. You all are the world to me and I can’t imagine my life without you! (Ps. I can’t wait to make more memories with all of you next year. )
5) I have a horrible shopping addiction. That is something I need to work on!
6) I learned my true love of music this past year. While I have always considered myself to have a lyrical soul… Living in music city and having friends that have fed that passion has opened many new musicians genre’s, and have given me a better outlet for many of my thoughts and emotions. Music has really served as a form of therapy for me the past year.
7) That happiness at work is directly correlated with your absolute happiness. Your job takes up the majority of your life. If you don’t enjoy it that means you pretty much are unhappy most of the time. Think about that one!
Gosh, there is so much I learned this year I can’t even begin to fathom how long and how boring this could get if I attempted it. I have been typing at this too long, and the wisdom I gather from myself behind the wheel of my car has faded and that is all I have for tonight. Therefore I will come to conclusion and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an amazing 2009!

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