The missing post

As I was searching through my computer to find a document that seems to have magically disappeared to no man's land I came accross an unsaved recovered document, labeled document 1. I thought Oh yes, i found my missing file! But no. What I found was the below writing that A) I don't really remember writing or B) Why I wr0te it. (Pre blog days) Anyways, I found it kind of interesting and I thought I would share... It may be over a year late in posting but better late than never right?
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So its official... 2008 is almost over. Tonight I was driving home in the snow, my Christmas music playing faintly in the background, and I caught myself as I do many times behind the wheel in deep thought. Tonight I just kept thinking about how I can't believe it is already practically Christmas and the fact that 2009 is literally days away. It got me thinking…what did I accomplish or more less what have I learned this year about the true meaning of "me"?
1) First thing that came to mind (since I was actually driving home from traffic school and all) was, I think over the past year I have become a much more responsible driver. Yes, it may have taken 3 speeding tickets and 16 hours of defensive driving school to get me here but an accomplishment for me none the less.
2) Life with a pet makes life more complete. I lived a whole year in Nashville and only now am I realizing what I was missing out on by not having a pet. Gellar (the cat), always seem to love you (minus the numerous times he has accidents on your bed, floor, bath mat, ect LOL), is so excited to see you when you get home, he is an amazing cuddlier, never makes you cry, and for some reason even though a cat can't talk or hug can always make me feel better.
3) Over the past year, or maybe just in the last 6 months, I have rejuvenated my hopes on love. Most of you know I have had some cynicism on the whole love arena for a few years now. But this year, not only have I seen several people fall in love right in front of me but I got to see my sister get married. I looked at her and saw the happiness in her and Nick’s eyes and at that moment I knew that true love does really exist and happiness comes with sharing your life and experiences with someone. I realize statistically that relationships are a coin toss …. Some last, some don’t. But there is just something so hopelessly romantic about letting yourself fall someone and promising to commit to them. And I am just thankful that I have that faith back in my life because I can’t wait for that to be me one day. No, I didn’t fall in love this year, and I am glad. Because the relationships I had this past year all taught me a lot about what I want, what I need, and what I deserve … and I don’t plan on accepting anything else anymore. :o)
4) This year I realized how much my friends and family truly mean to me. Going to the Grand Canyon with my parents, having a lake house party with my sister and all our friends, road trips, bridal showers, holidays, late nights out on the town, dressing up and being silly, girls night… all things that have been a huge contribution to my happiness this past year. For all of you reading this right now, I want you to know I love you very much. Thank you for being here for me, for calling me when I needed to talk, for yelling at me when I wouldn’t listen, for laughing at my amazing humor LOL, for being a shoulder to cry on… for everything. You all are the world to me and I can’t imagine my life without you! (Ps. I can’t wait to make more memories with all of you next year. )
5) I have a horrible shopping addiction. That is something I need to work on!
6) I learned my true love of music this past year. While I have always considered myself to have a lyrical soul… Living in music city and having friends that have fed that passion has opened many new musicians genre’s, and have given me a better outlet for many of my thoughts and emotions. Music has really served as a form of therapy for me the past year.
7) That happiness at work is directly correlated with your absolute happiness. Your job takes up the majority of your life. If you don’t enjoy it that means you pretty much are unhappy most of the time. Think about that one!
Gosh, there is so much I learned this year I can’t even begin to fathom how long and how boring this could get if I attempted it. I have been typing at this too long, and the wisdom I gather from myself behind the wheel of my car has faded and that is all I have for tonight. Therefore I will come to conclusion and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an amazing 2009!

Amber alert out for Christy

So as mentioned in previous posts I have been on a dating frenzy. Usually I am very smart about this. I am meeting boys I barely know and let’s be honest…. They could be killers, rapists, psychos. So I usually tell my closest friends the boy’s name, where we are going, what the agenda is. Sometimes I even send an update mid-way through just to keep them posted.

Anyways last night, very spur of the moment, I took up a guy up on his invitation to have drinks. My roommates weren’t home when I left so I just went on my business and headed out for drinks. It didn’t cross my mind that they would be worried when they got home and realized I wasn’t there and had no idea where I was.

Initial problem was boy and I didn’t even meet for drinks until 9 pm, so the date ended quite late. Plus, I have a very good track record of keeping people posted on my whereabouts (thank you I phone)- so it was unlike me to not tell anyone. I was just asking for someone to freak. I love my friends so much for caring so much. When not returning home by 11 and not answering the phone (I honestly didn’t hear it ringing in my purse) my loving roommates called friends, hospitals, jails, the bowling alley (I had bowling league after work yesterday) and my family to try to locate me just in case something bad had happened to me.

I could not ask for better friends. I can’t explain how good it makes you feel when you know someone cares so much, even if I had to scare them to death in the process. Thanks ya’ll! Love you lots and just know if I pull a stunt like this again, I’m not crying wolf. I learned my lesson.

Fads....

So there are just some things in life you promise yourself you wont do just because everyone else does. Certain fads or peer pressure you tell yourself you wont succumb too. I am sure 100 different things just popped in your mind and about 98% of them you have probably caved in to or at least thought about it. Now most times I like to be pretty trendy and go with the flow but there are times I stand up for my right to be individual. And the sad part is, I often fail.

Failed attempts go as follows:

#1) Ugs.... Yes I own Ug-esque shoes and I still think they are ugly (I refer to them as my fuglies) but I caved. I got them, I love them, and I wear them. I bow my head in shame.

#2)Jersey Shore.... The show that is so bad I can't help but watch. I even sometimes quote the show, bring it up in random conversations and I think to myself.... Christy you should be embarrassed! haha It is quite "the situation". haha

#3) John Mayer.... I refused to listen to him in college, to go to any of his concerts, or to join his whole group of teen crazed groupies. I told everyone, "nope I never fell for the John Mayer band wagon." Look at me know. I have his last three Cd's on my ipod, a Pandora station dedicated just to him and I have concert tickets to his Nashville show in a few weeks. Yes, you can call me a hypocrite.

#4) Skinny Jeans.... I have always been the one to say chubby people aren't meant to wear anything labeled skinny, especially skinny jeans. I swore to myself when flare legged jeans became popular in the 90's that I would NEVER again go back to straight leg look because they generally look horrible on everyone (unless they are a stick figure) But for some reason I am wearing a pair of skinny jeans right now. I tell myself, it's not how the jeans look, it is how you feel in them. That makes it so much better doesn't it. haha

#5) The Crack Berry or the IPhone... Now I have blogged about my iPhone before. I swore to myself I wouldn't be one of those other people addicted to their phone. The one sitting their car, in a waiting room, a restaurant, or a bar with their eyes glued to their hand held device. But once again, I have become just like everyone else... an addict.

#6) Avatar... I don't like sci fi, I am not into war movies, and not the biggest fan of animated movies so why would I ever want to see this movie. I didn't. But once I heard that IMAX made it sooo cool and it was totally worth the 15 bucks to see it, I was the one asking my friends to go see this movie. I went, I saw, I conquered.... Just like everyone else. This weekend will put Avatar as the best selling movie of all times. (even over Titanic, which is crazy since I alone went and saw Titanic 3 times in the theater! haha)

Now there are still things like walking around with my blue tooth in my ear, dropping the word GD, getting eyeliner tattooed on, ect... those things are still not going to happen (least I don't think) but it just cracks me up how peer pressure changes our opinions or makes us breakdown to the point we find something acceptable. Now I know I only listed silly things like fashion, gadgets and entertainment (those things are just more fun to write about haha) but those are just "for examples". Peer pressure affects so much more; it affects our social interactions, politics, beliefs and judgements and pretty much every facet of your life.

I challenge you to try be you, don't settle for pleasing other people's opinions, and stay true to who you are in every way shape and form.

"Be yourself; everyone is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde

men and women

Can men and women truly be friends? This just happens to be one of those question that unforunatley has no definitive answer. Everyone has their own opinion, thoughts, and rules to this question but honeslty it probably just depends on the situation, the people and how close of a relationship but I think after a certain point it all boils down to: No.

One of my favorite movies of all times captures the essence of this question better than I could possibly try to. If you haven't seen the 80's classic, When Harry Met Sally, go to blockbuster and make it happen. A movie both men and women can both appreciate.

Zing Zang Zoon

The Ringling Bro's Circus is in town!!!! Usually people generalize the circus as a children's event but I just don't understand why. What's not to love about elephants, tigers, acrobats, magicians, catchy music, and dancing. Well maybe the clowns, but now a days they hardly even look like clowns anymore (minus the token detail of big shoes, white face, and the occasional button nose.) Anyways Friday night, myself and 5 other girlfriends visited the Circus and it still, after seeing it so many times over the years, hasn't lost its luster. It cracks me up that something so simple as seeing dogs do tricks, people doing flips in the air, or the obviously fake optical illusions are so entertaining. (Even though I still don't understand how they made that elephant disappear! lol) Oh the excitement in simple, uncorrupted fun!

Seattle

Pictures of Seattle, one of the most beautiful cities I have ever visited in the United States.

The Space Needle

Mt. Rainier

Pikes Place Farmer's Market

Downtown Seattle

Pikes Place Market

The Post Alley Gum Wall

Space Needle

3 dates, 3 days, 3 dudes

So over the weekend I went on 3 dates, within 3 days, with 3 different dudes. (try saying that 5 times fast! Haha). What better way to get over someone, or get over loneliness than to find someone new right?

Date 1- The stage 5 clinger: We will call him J. J took me to Teavana in the Green Hills mall. Me, being completely tea illiterate thought this was a really cool, first date. We sampled lots of teas, looked around the little shop and finally picked our drink choices. This guy was very forward and within an hour and a half he was holding my hand and kept reiterating that he didn’t understand how I was single. He seemed very insecure about it actually and mentioned at least 3 times he didn’t think I would want to see him again. He was cute, but obviously a bit on the dwebby side (high school band teacher says it all). Either way, he came off as a really nice guy. We ended the night after about 2 and a half hours. Then the crazy started coming out. He texted me and texted me and texted me. He texted me to the point I was severely turned off. Date #2 is up in the air… I haven’t decided yet.

Date 2-Fun and flirty: This was actually my 4th date with “B” as we will call him. We always seem to have a really good time. He is tall and cute and is just a very manly kind of guy. (what can I say, I am a sucker for that). We actually went on a double date with my bestie and her boyfriend to Dave & Busters. Talk about the perfect date place. You can enjoy a beer while playing every game known to man. The perfect place for laughter and flirting. It was a lot of fun! The only part of the date I didn’t enjoy was when he told me he hated Taylor Swift! Haha But that is just a minor detail, we will definitely be going out again… Date #5 TBD! :o)

Date 3- Average Joe: G is the epitome of what you would consider a nice guy. He planned everything before our date. I love a man that can take control and is actually a planner (those are hard to come by these days!) He showed up with a pink rose and was quite the gentlemen. We ate dinner downtown at The Old Spaghetti Factory. He too was on the bit of the nerdy side. Now don’t get me wrong I appreciate that quality but in moderation. Conversation was kind of dry and proper but luckily we went to Zanies Comedy Club after to break up the monotony. He wanted to go out after Zanies but I turned down the offer just due to the fact I was exhausted. While I know he likes me, I am unsure of this one. I hate to say it since I have been told this soo many times, but I think we may be better friends. But I think he definitely deserves a second date.

It’s funny to me that I let myself get down about being single so much when honestly I am actually the reason I am single. I don’t believe in dating someone to pass time and I think I expect too much. I know what it feels like to have an amazing chemistry with someone. To get off a date and think, could this be the person that changes my life as I know it? And I am not willing to settle for less in that regard. I just want a best friend to share life with that makes me have butterflies. Someone I want to wake up and be “I can’t imagine my life without them!” . That’s all! Shouldn’t be that hard to find right!? Haha

FML!

So I am officially back from vacation, which means back to work. Started off the day right….I decided to wear a dress to work today and while walking in from the parking lot my white slip literally fell all the way to my ankles onto my black tights… not something that goes easily unnoticed and unfortunately several people saw. I was like OMG! MORTIFIED!… trust me it had to be entertaining. Making a mental note…. By a smaller slip! Haha Totally embarrassing but gosh it’s the crazy things like that in life so funny. Sad part is, I took a seat at my desk and now I am afraid to move, much less get up from my desk. What am I going to do when I have to go to lunch?….. that happening once is definitely enough! Just sayin…. Anyways, had to share! (yep, picture me blushin!)

Barf Bag

If you didn't know, I am in Seattle! With a 1 hour 15 minute flight from Nashville to Chicago and a 4 hour flight from Chicago to Seattle, my mom, dad, and I finally touched down on the west coast at 2 am Central time this morning.On our flight I had a great idea when I was rummaging through the seat pockets looking for some lite reading when I happened to come across the barf bag.

Now barf bags are not new to the flying industry. No negative connotations are associated with them being in every seat back, no one ever seems grossed out by the idea... so why are they only seen in planes? Let's be honest, how many of you have ever vomited in a plane? I have ridden on at least 20+ flights and not once have I seen anyone feel sick, much less get sick but it never fails, every seat still receives their own barf bag. Now don't get me wrong...even though I have never actually seen one in use, I still think they are a great idea or at least a good idea in theory.

What I don't understand is why don't other business in the transportation industry optimize on these bags? A prime example of another market that needs to jump on this product are taxi's. Question for ya folks, have you ever vomited in a taxi or know someone who has? Most likely if you or any of your friends drink and use taxi's as your main form of commuting to and from bars and home, chances are you have experienced a taxi puker. Now in some instances the puker may be beyond the use of a bag, but many times just the motion of a car can easily send a person into sickness. With a barf bag available to every seat in the taxi, it could prevent a mess to clean up, that $100 taxi clean up/damage fee, embarrassment and just make the process a bit easier on all parties involved. While I currently have no instances in which they have come in handy in a plane, I can think of at least 5 or 6 times they would have been beyond helpful in a taxi. Just sayin. LOL

Maybe next time I ride in a taxi I will pass along my suggestion or possibly on my flight home pick up a few bags as a souvenir for the next time I go out with friends and know a taxi will be involved..... Never hurts to be too prepared right? Anyways, sorry i typed about a grotty topic and said the word barf so many times. Yuck! ha but I am sure more interesting post's about Seattle are yet to come!

Keychains!

There are many things you can use to judge someone…. clothes, type of car, job, personality, but what about key chain cards? The other day I was looking at my key chain and noticed that I only had 4 keys but a whopping 10 key chain cards. I have quite the variety of cards and thought to myself someone can get a pretty good reading of “me” just by looking at key chain cards.

1) Kroger Plus Card
2) GNC Gold Card
3) New York & Company Rewards (Best clothing store ever!)
4) Nashville Public Library
5) CVS ExtraCare Card
6) Hallmark Crown rewards
7) Sun Tan City
8) DSW rewards (shoe store if you didn’t know)
9) Borders Books reward
10) Hollywood Video

So apparently, I grocery shop at Kroger, take vitamins, read books and watch movies, like to shop, tan, and like to send greeting cards. LOL Yep… sounds about right! Only thing that is missing is a Michael’s craft store, TJ Maxx Rewards, and a gym card if they existed! Haha

With almost every chain company having a card these days, it’s interesting to think which stores/companies people deem a priority enough to put their card on their key chain. Some will represent hobbies, interests, likes, type of well being, and favorites. Soooo, what do the cards on your key chain say about you? You never know… someone could be judging you on them! ;o)

The week of rejection

Okay, warning this is a debbie downer post. I am going to let out a little man hate, 1 post and I am done. LOL I love the holidays, I really do, but for some reason something about the holidays this year seemed to be a constant reminder of how single I tend to feel these days. I happily skipped out on my company Christmas party knowing that almost everyone, if not all, would bring a date except for me. I listened to talk about what relatives and friends were going to give and hopefully receive from their significant other for Christmas knowing I had no one special to buy for and definitely didn't have anyone racking their brain about what would be the perfect gift for me. I did go to a different company Christmas party... I was told two days before there were 41 people who RSVPed.... I cringed at the thought I might be the only "1" rsvp causing it to make an odd number at the party. I dreaded new years and the strike of midnight and being all alone. But all of those thoughts were usually fleeting thoughts in my head until this past week. I would have a moment of selfishness of poor me, I'm single, nobody loves me thoughts and then catch myself back into logic. But this past week, putting those crazy thoughts to bed have been really hard.

Christmas day I got a call from someone I used to date asking me to give him another shot. I decided why not, we scheduled a date for Monday night. He stood me up..... Then Tuesday I received an email from a guy I dated last year, telling me he was dating someone new and he couldn't' wait to spend new years with her, yada yada (Even though it has been almost a year, all i kept thinking was how he refused to hang with me last new years....kinda was just like a jab to my heart). Today he posted he was "in a relationship" with her on facebook after dating for a mere few weeks. ARE WE KIDDING? I spent a year with the dude and he must have had a major change of heart because until i saw that on facebook, i thought he didn't believe in "titles" or relationships! Then my most recent of crushes, the boy i only met once to be followed up with hours talking over the phone came for new years and told me the most overused phrase of the century, "we are just friends" and then kissed one of my friends at midnight. All such minimal things added up to a week of frustration for me.

I know it has been my fault, but this past week, loneliness has been my closest friend. I know these boys weren't right for me, everything happens for a reason, I am just going through a bad year with men....It's sad to think that many times we tie our sense of self worth to others' acceptance.... but something about rejection never ever feels good. Why, when it comes to matters of the heart, does logic get pushed to the wayside. My head tells me one thing and my heart tells me something different. You would think after 24 years of rejection I would eventually become numb to its aftermath, but for some reason it never gets easier, you never get used to it.

It's kind of interesting to think that sadness caused from love is compared to actual words that describe pain. Heart ache, the pain of a broken heart, hurt feelings... because while the pain isn't tangible or visible, emotional pain is still pain, whether it is rejection, a loss of a loved one, or harsh words... It can physically hurt and can't be fixed with a band aid or taking an Advil.

The fact of the matter is that the pain caused by rejection is a normal part of life. It is as unavoidable as your heart beating. But we all have a choice when it comes to dealing with rejection. We can run from it and live in denial, or we can accept the sheer fact that (Christy getting rejected all the time... that was me making a joke, didn't you laugh) is normal. Even though it sucks, rejection gives us an opportunity to hopefully grow and learn. I know I said I was only going to let out one man hate post but, but I am sure I will rant about rejection again because even though it hurts and i hate it, to not risk rejection would not be living life. The truth is not everyone can be with everyone and that even though I may not be desired right now doesn't make me undesirable. That is the lesson I need to learn from this week.

Anyways, that is all I got for now, and I actually feel much better. And while I am dealing with rejection now, I know that it only take 1 person to turn my situation around. Apparently I just have to get through a lot of frogs before I can find and truly appreciate my future prince. :o)