For those people that are really close to me, all of you would say I run away from men that actually like me and I am drawn to jerks. I say i want commitment but always chase after these boys I know will A) wont commit B) Will never like me C) Guys that will only consider me friends or D)Only like me when they are drunk. Then i cry and cry when things end exactly like I knew they would. Me sad.
Last night I got home pretty early and decided to finish sunday off being lazy -which chick flicks are always a requirement for lazy sundays. The flick of choice last night was Last Chance Harvey. The movie was mediocre but something the main female character said towards the end of the movie struck a personal note with me.
" i’m not gonna do it because it’ll hurt. sometime or other, there will be… you know, it’s not working, or i need my space, or whatever it is, and it will end, and it will hurt, and i won’t do it. i won’t do it and i won’t…
you see, what i think it is, is… is i think i’m more comfortable with being disappointed. i think i’m angry with you for trying to take that away."
That's it. That's my issue in a nutshell. I am afraid of getting hurt and at this point I am more okay with being disappointed over and over than risk that kind of pain again. Now that I know the problem, the goal is to find a solution!!!
You can't find love if you don't really go looking for it right?
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