Drowning....

My life has been so busy lately it seems like I don’t have the opportunity to live my life much anymore, much less post on here.
At first it was all fun.
If you didn’t know I have been on the house hunt since the beginning of December. Since I am doing this all on my own, single, on a 24 year olds salary this search has been hard. My budget is small, and my taste is big. It has been, probably one of the biggest emotional roller coasters of my life. I have looked at around 30 homes at this point. The ones I like someone puts an offer down before I even have the opportunity to and the worst part was when I finally felt I found the right place, they rejected my offer. Now we are starting all over…. Sigh. Tear. But I know it will be worth it when I find a good place.

Then when it comes to boys… I think I officially dated myself out. At first I loved meeting new people, learning what I like and dislike in a man but turns out maybe my screening process is a bit too harsh because none of them made the cut. I have wasted what seems like the greater part of all my free time in January and beginning of February with people I will never see and/or speak to again when I could be doing something useful with my time. I honestly think my biggest issue is I want to date someone that could be my best friend and these boys haven’t really connected with me on all the levels I need.… Gotta keep the faith, just takes 1.  One day my life will be like “My Best Friend” by Tim Mcgraw. (one of my faves, as you may note by my playlist lol)

I am really excited about grad school but in the process of doing the above I have fallen away from the application process. For the school I want to attend I am completely finished applying except for an essay I have to write. I have been telling myself for two month to write it. It still isn’t done. I am just disappointed in myself for procrastinating. I will do it tonight ;o)

I more than willingly volunteered to be my sorority’s alum club treasurer when I moved to Nashville. Little did I know it was a 2 year commitment and duty of a part time job. Trying to keep all that organized just for myself, meetings, tons of emails, reimbursements getting mailed to me constantly, 50 check deposits…. The count down to the end began after day 1… we are t-minus 5 months to go!

Then on top of that I have been dealing with my wrecked car. Tons of phone calls and frustration later, I finally have my estimate, I have a follow up doctor’s appointment later today, I will be getting my car fixed on Monday but honestly this whole mess just seems like something else sucking the life out of me.

The sad part is none of those things listed above deserve the high priority I have made them in my life recently. I feel like I have neglected my friends, I haven’t called my sister in forever, work has suffered due to my lack of ability to focus, and in the process I have neglecting myself as well. I feel overwhelmed. Usually when you are so busy you actually feel like you accomplish something. Me on the other hand, feel like I am treading water. And while I know if feels like that now, I know one day I will look back and be proud of myself.

Anyways, just had to vent. I know for every low there is a high. I just keep telling myself-
“God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”