Disappointment

First of all I want to start this post with the lines that this memorial day weekend has been just what the doctor ordered. Even though I had to work the weekend and the holiday, everything just seemed good. No stress, no drama, pool time, grilling out, fun times with friends and the roomie. I can sincerely say I had a good weekend. (I hope you all can say the same!!) But while I had a good weekend, I had a couple of friends that weren't quite as high on life.

It really just got me thinking. Life is a series of events, and with every event a person sets some sort of expectation. Its an innate behavior, we do it without even thinking. The awesome and sometimes sucky thing about life is you never know how it is going to turn out. Life can go either right or wrong, expectations can go above or below (okay maybe sometimes you hit it straight on but usually you're weighted more as either a Debbie Downer or an optimist). A person's reaction to the outcome of life events can be amazingly emotional. You can experience some of the happiest feelings ever or possibly some of the worst. And I am sure many of you agree one of the worst feelings in the world is disappointment.

Disappointment: a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized

Such a simple word with such a simple definition. But unfortunately disappointment doesn't feel so simple. It is one of those words you will never understand the true meaning until it is experienced.

Disappointment leaves a person questioning, why? That is what makes disappointment so confusing, because so much can hide behind disappointment. Failing a test=maybe you're just actually stupid. Getting dumped=Maybe you really are that crazy bitch he called you when you broke up. But what about the instances of disappointment where you can't control the outcome? You can always study to get smarter, you can always date someone else if you get dumped, but what if your best friend forgot to send you a card for your birthday? Or your boyfriend stood you up on a date. You feel low, you feel sad, and you know there is nothing you could have done personally to change the other person's actions. But WHY did they have to do that?

Whatever it is, every situation has a truth behind it but sometimes as a coping mechanism or maybe someone just doesn't want to get in trouble or be the bad guy- the truth can be masked with an excuse.... I forgot, I didn't know, I don't or didn't have enough time, not enough money, it just wasn't meant to be. But excuses just bandage the wound. "I'm sorry" can help mend the wound but only actions can heal them. What do you think the protocol is in terms of preventing disappointment from someone else's choices?

My only thought is the golden rule. Treat people the way you want to be treated and hope they do the same in return. Talk about everything... The good, bad and the ugly. If someone doesn't know how you feel how will they know to do keep up the good work or when they need to step up their game? And if they keep making you feel disappointed clearly something is wrong.

I hate liars. I think sugar coating things in life is over used and over rated and honest open communication is under used and under rated. I hate when people apologize when they don't actually mean it, and I hate flakiness. I know I have preached about this before in previous posts but I just want to reiterate that actions speak so much louder than words. Every life experience will end in some sort of result so why not do what you can to do to turn the expectation into a positive experience. Set the bar high, impress those Debbie Downers!