If you know me very well, you know one thing about me is that I am very trusting… probably too trusting. But after being lied to and mistreated so many times how am I ever supposed to trust anyone?! The world had proved to me to be full of Crap!
I’m a blunt person. I believe honesty is always the best policy. I hate liars and am totally against lying. Yet, somehow I have managed to surround myself by men that like to lie to me.
Just two weeks ago a guy from out of town that has been a good friend and pursing a real date with me calls me while at work and asks me out for the weekend. I unfortunately already had plans but promised the first chance to make it work, we would…. 4 days later he shows up in Nashville in the middle of the week (a day I have absolutely no plans), doesn’t tell me he is coming and when I randomly bump into him he tells me he was avoiding me because he was going out with another girl in Nashville…. (really!?)
Guys that send you late night texts or call you tipsy to confess their love to only be told the next day that the only reason they call me is when they get drunk is because they are lonely and they know I will answer the phone. Nice…..
Wedding boy… quickly became one of my closest friends. We had so much in common, could talk for hours, I was extremely attracted to him and felt the feeling was mutual….. a relationship with such potential with the exception of the distance… At least that is what he told me. A month and a half in, he decided to turn into Mister Hot and Cold….. Three weeks in a row he woo’ed me with making plans with me and every time something magically came up the day we were supposed to get together. One night I finally called him out on his actions and how I didn’t think it was fair to me, and somehow he managed to guilt me into thinking all of this was my fault and hung up on me.…. He dropped me like it was hot with no explanation for basically two months until I got a call him apologizing for his behavior and the actual problem the whole time was he was still hung up on his Ex. Why couldn’t he have just told me that and saved me all that grief and emotions!?
My favorite has been the last guy I hung out with…. I clearly am a bit skeptical about men and apparently it was pretty apparent. He loaded me down day after day with how great of a catch I am. That he was different and he was going to treat me the way I deserved, and for the small time we were involved he did. He would run around to open my car door. He pulled my chair out at the table. We were talking about planning a trip in the next couple weeks. He held my hand frequently. He gave me amazing hugs. He whispered to me in public how beautiful I was. Instead of going to the movies like we planned we ended up talking for hours, and both of us sat there saying how comfortable and amazing we feel with each other. Even after such a short time he said he could imagine spending the rest of his life with me and how much he wanted to introduce me to his family. I thought I had struck gold. Not only had I found this man that treated me so amazing but I liked him so much back in return…. (Which as we know sometimes I never like the guys that seem to like me. ) but then reality struck… even after our amazing dates and conversations something must have gone wrong because I haven’t heard from him….. Words can’t express how heart wrenching for me this has been for me over the last few days to go from being on cloud nine to be brought down lower than you feel you have been in a very long time.
What I really want to do is call him and be like how could you do this to me!? You promised me you were different. How could you just literally fall off the face of the planet and do the things you were so disgusted by that other men had done to me? But I called and got no response. I texted and all I got was, I’m busy-will text you later texts….I’m not this pathetic girl. I am not going to chase after a boy like this. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me…
Maybe I just care too much. Maybe I just take things to the heart too quickly. Clearly I must be doing something wrong to keep getting hurt over and over again by men. Now I am consumed with the baggage of extreme fears of getting hurt. How can I ever trust anyone when my heart has been played like a fiddle so many times? My strings are getting so worn out and tired. When will I find someone that wont just screw me over…. And at the end of the day I wonder, is all this hurt and pain worth it?
Men love their freedom. For many guys, the very thought of making a commitment to one woman for even a short period of time or God forbid, the rest of their lives is enough to send them sprinting for the hills. The dreaded "C-word" implies compromise, loss of independence, the sacrifice of sexual variety.
ReplyDeleteMen are extremely independent by nature. We like to make our own decisions and run our lives by our own rules. We want to do what we want when we want. But when a woman enters the picture, all the choices a guy simply used to take for granted -- going out for a beer with his buddies, buying a big screen TV, playing golf on Saturday afternoon -- suddenly have to be cleared with her first.
Serious relationships suck up an enormous amount of time and energy -- they can entirely take over our lives. The pressure is always on to do something, be it wine and dine her, interact with her family, remember her birthday, or pick her up from work. Unfortunately for some of us, all the bother just isn't worth the effort. Some guys want it both ways, they want a serious relationship but panic when they realize what is involved with having a meaningful relationship with someone! It’s sad!