Martha Stewart….. now I don’t know much about her as a person. I mean I know she was a model when she was younger and then she apparently tyrantly (and even illegally) worked her way up to be the homemaker she is today but I have to admit minus those details that everyone holds over her head- I love her. I love the idea of her probably more so. I love her cook books, I love her magazine, I love her website, I love her cute ideas, I like the stuff she sales at K-mart, Michaels, ect…. She not only has 2 bachelor degrees, but she can cook, sew, create, garden, organize, host… and I am sure those are just the tip of the iceberg. She is what I like to think of a well rounded woman.
Being classified as one of those well rounded women is something I truly aspire for. I have groomed myself with a good education and I am currently working on another degree. I am constantly trying new recipes, love having people over for dinner, and love treating my co-workers with my latest homemade creation. I took sewing classes so when I wanted, I would be able to whip up a pillow or some sort of sewing project just because I got the whim to. I took a cake decorating class to get the inside scoop on how to make a homecake look off the chain. I bought a house so I could put my finesse into something and work on my own garden and landscaping. At one point in my life I put a lot of effort into playing music, more specifically the piano. While my skills are a bit out of practice I can still read music, always looking for great new artists, and have the utmost respect for musicians. I studied studio art in college and got my minor in oil painting. While again my skills are rusty I know if I had the time I could sit down and make something beautiful.
I don’t just want to be a homemaker (gotta find a husband and have a family before I have a true home but….) but I just want to be a well versed person. I may not be passionate but I try to keep up to date, to some degree, with sports, current events, books, religion, and building my friend and family life.
My mother and my grandmother (her mom) are some of the Martha Stewart’s of the world. And I think I just see how amazing they are as people and as women. They are my inspiration in life. I know I wont ever quite get there but it’s a good goal to aim for.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Life and its curve balls
Sometimes life throws us interesting curve balls. Doors open, doors close.... life happens in between and we are here to make a world out of it. It really is amazing to me how we live within a series of events and cause and effects. You may be questioning what I am getting at but I promise I will unravel the details but a little insight: Tonights topic of choice is going to be, I guess for lack of a better word, love or I guess just the quest of it.
Chain reaction in play:. I went to a wedding. At that wedding I met a boy. Even though the boy lived far from me, he followed up. Then he came to visit. I realized he was amazing.
Sounds soo simple written out. And actually it is really simple. Two people were attracted to each other, and decided to get to know each other better. But then emotions and the real world make it complicated (well let's be honest, probably only in my head they get complicated).
I don't guess you could say I "hit it off" with a lot of people. I wont say i have been unlucky in love because honestly I haven't but I haven't been lucky enough yet to find the one that sweeps me off my feet and says they can't live their life without me yet. I have had my heart broken into thousand pieces after a 5 year relationship. I was crushed when the first guy I liked in Nashville dropped me like it was hot. I put up with a jerk for a whole year because for some reason I was massively infatuated with him. And since then I have dated pretty much every type of man, confessed my crazy (un-reciprocated) thoughts to a guy friend , and have learned so much about myself, what I want in someone else, and everything in between in the process.
(Tonight's Valentine's Day so I will contribute 75% of all these crazy love thoughts due to the mere fact its a holiday that makes a girl fully aware of her current situation.)
But I think i caught a glimpse of what everyone talks about. What "hitting it off" feels like. And I must say it's amazing. It makes me realize what I am holding out for. Why I'm not going to settle. Why none of the people in the past have worked out. Now I wont get ahead of myself here. Wedding boy may just be a boy I spent an amazing weekend with but yesterday when he left I felt happiness I haven't felt in a VERY long time. I felt hope. I felt lucky to have gotten the chance to have such a great weekend with someone. After years of unreciprocated love, bad dates, and jerks I realized that maybe I could find love again. That a great guy can actually like me. That I deserve a guy that will treat me amazing.
BUT I wont deny at the same time, I'm kind of sad. I'm sad because he lives far away. I'm sad because its like someone giving me a sample without the option of buying. I'm sad because I don't know if I will ever actually see him again. I'm sad because even if we both admit we like each other the chances or us giving a relationship a fair shot (if he would even consider it) will be very difficult. It makes me frustrated with curve balls in life because now there is this person that I just happenstance met that will now leave a mark on me. Dealing with all the "wrong men" has given me such an appreciation for the good ones, and when you find someone amazing it's hard not to try to hold on.
I have NO idea what lies in store for wedding boy and me... and honestly not knowing excites me. The unknown is the beauty of life because only time will tell and decide what other curve balls it will throw in my life path. On one note, where there is a will there is a way, and the on another note, (And while the word love is clearly a bit strong for this instance) Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
I'm going to end with a quote I ironically came across this morning.
"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If i didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."
Chain reaction in play:. I went to a wedding. At that wedding I met a boy. Even though the boy lived far from me, he followed up. Then he came to visit. I realized he was amazing.
Sounds soo simple written out. And actually it is really simple. Two people were attracted to each other, and decided to get to know each other better. But then emotions and the real world make it complicated (well let's be honest, probably only in my head they get complicated).
I don't guess you could say I "hit it off" with a lot of people. I wont say i have been unlucky in love because honestly I haven't but I haven't been lucky enough yet to find the one that sweeps me off my feet and says they can't live their life without me yet. I have had my heart broken into thousand pieces after a 5 year relationship. I was crushed when the first guy I liked in Nashville dropped me like it was hot. I put up with a jerk for a whole year because for some reason I was massively infatuated with him. And since then I have dated pretty much every type of man, confessed my crazy (un-reciprocated) thoughts to a guy friend , and have learned so much about myself, what I want in someone else, and everything in between in the process.
(Tonight's Valentine's Day so I will contribute 75% of all these crazy love thoughts due to the mere fact its a holiday that makes a girl fully aware of her current situation.)
But I think i caught a glimpse of what everyone talks about. What "hitting it off" feels like. And I must say it's amazing. It makes me realize what I am holding out for. Why I'm not going to settle. Why none of the people in the past have worked out. Now I wont get ahead of myself here. Wedding boy may just be a boy I spent an amazing weekend with but yesterday when he left I felt happiness I haven't felt in a VERY long time. I felt hope. I felt lucky to have gotten the chance to have such a great weekend with someone. After years of unreciprocated love, bad dates, and jerks I realized that maybe I could find love again. That a great guy can actually like me. That I deserve a guy that will treat me amazing.
BUT I wont deny at the same time, I'm kind of sad. I'm sad because he lives far away. I'm sad because its like someone giving me a sample without the option of buying. I'm sad because I don't know if I will ever actually see him again. I'm sad because even if we both admit we like each other the chances or us giving a relationship a fair shot (if he would even consider it) will be very difficult. It makes me frustrated with curve balls in life because now there is this person that I just happenstance met that will now leave a mark on me. Dealing with all the "wrong men" has given me such an appreciation for the good ones, and when you find someone amazing it's hard not to try to hold on.
I have NO idea what lies in store for wedding boy and me... and honestly not knowing excites me. The unknown is the beauty of life because only time will tell and decide what other curve balls it will throw in my life path. On one note, where there is a will there is a way, and the on another note, (And while the word love is clearly a bit strong for this instance) Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
I'm going to end with a quote I ironically came across this morning.
"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If i didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."
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