San Fran!

So it has officially been forever. I apologize. If any of you know me you probably haven't really seen me around in a while. Between work, school, traveling and what not I literally don't have a life anymore. Class ends on May the 4th and words can't express my joy and excitement on having the summer off.

Girls trip in April. My friend Beth and I took a long weekend out to San Francisco and to Napa Valley. Can we say amazing. We stayed in a small town called Calistoga at the Calistoga Inn. It was totally precious. It was like we were transported back to the 1940's. You push open the screen door to this really old building into a check in area, you lug your bags up the stairs to these little rooms with one outlet and one mirror and a teeny sink. There is a restaurant and bar underneath and the town is just what you would picture in the movies of the most quaint and cute main street lined with restaurants and shops. I think it is safe to say that Beth and I made our mark on Calistoga.

It's no secret that I love me some wine. So another reason why this part of the world is right up my alley. Beth and I rented bikes one day to do a tour of Napa Valley and to do wine tastings. The weather was perfect, the temperature was just right, and we didn't have to worry with any silly DUI's LOL (wait can you get a DUI on a bicycle?)

Muir Woods may have been my favorite part of the trip. Those trees don't even seem real. At one point in complete awe i know i said outloud "Is this real life!?" I just can't explain the enormity of these giant trees. It was awesome.

We also did the tour of Alcatraz. We took a boat over, had a great audio tour and I was completely intrigued by it all.

We also stayed downtown in San Francisco. We stayed in another very cute hotel. Hotel De Artes. It was a hotel and art museum. Our our hotel room was covered in this amazing super colorful mural. I wish my bedroom at home looked like that. But the whole area was just gorgeous. I would definitely like to go back.

Already looking forward to my next vacation. Florida in may!!!! :)

Christy's Kitchen overload!

I decided I like to bake when A) I have a lot on my mind and B) When I need an instant pick me up. Clearly over the last months I have had a lot on my mind so in my spare time I have been cooking up a storm. Rarely do I bake anything for myself. Either I come across a recipe I want to try, a utensil I want to use, or there is a special occasion at work that give me a good excuse to try my cooking skills out on my co-workers. So here are my latest creations:



A conglamerate of several recipes: Carrot cake cupcakes with a cheesecake filling, topped with creamcheese icing. A-mazing! Def a major crowd pleaser!

Brown Eyed Bakers (one of my new fave food blogs) Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Buttercream icing. Very tasty! I also filled these with the chocolate buttercream icing. I think if i did it over i would put a chocolate ganache in it instead.

Also, another Brown Eyed Baker's receipes: Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Bars. I have rave reviews by co-workers. I think anything with the chocolate peanut butter combo is a winner. Plus these were REALLY easy to make!

Martha Stewart's Strawberry Cupcakes with Strawberry Meringue Buttercream Icing. These were good but I think the icing was too intense to be filled in the middle. Second go around, just the cupcake and the icing on the top. A girl friend and I made these and honeslty I thought they looked just as good as the $3.50 per cupcakes we could have bought.

Last but not least, Sugar cookies with royal icing. Who doesn't love a good ole' sugar cookie? This was my first experience working with and decorating with royal icing and it was alot of fun, but sooo time consuming. My sister and I made these and she actually had the idea to use bottles (like a ketchup or mustard bottle) to decorate with. I must say way less messy!

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

So I guess it is just that time of year for me to have a car wreck since it was just over a year ago I had my first official wreck.
This time the wreck was my fault though. I always pictured my first wreck (I caused) would either involve texting, playing with my navigation system, putting on make up, or who knows what else that may have grabbed the attention of my A-D-D but this time I have no excuse. I just didn’t turn sharp enough and rammed a poor innocent woman in the turn lane going the other direction.

Monday may rank as my worst day for March (so I am glad to have it out of the way since there is still a few weeks left to the month. Lol). I had worked the weekend and had been stressed about high water and everything involved with working 12 days straight. It was Monday in general. Wedding boy had recently canceled on meeting up the upcoming weekend and canceled on any possibility for the following weekend as well and I had 8 lamps in my car. I was actually headed to take 2 of them back when I rammed the car, so needless to say I had 1001 things on my mind noon on Monday.

If you know me, hearing that I had an emotional breakdown about this time probably wont come as a shock. Firstly, the wreck just scared me in general. I was very lucky as to the fact that no one was hurt…. Even my 8 lamps survived the hit! Our cars were both still driveable and I hit the nicest woman alive!

Kinda ironic that I was the one that hit her but I was the one experiencing the melt down. I was slightly hyperventilating (sorry folks if you have experienced me crying before, it’s one HOT MESS!), talking about ten million words a minute and pretty sure my whole body was trembling. The woman, Lori, I hit just hugged me. And proceeded to give me this inspirational monologue.

She told me things happen. Keep in mind that neither of us were hurt and that maybe God wanted to give me a wake up call to slow down in life and learn to appreciate it more instead of loading down my plate and going 1000 mph. She recommended for me to learn to slow down and also mentioned if I was interested in reading, to read some books by Eckhart Tolle.

Eckhart Tolle is actually the author of two pretty famous book. The Power of Now and The New Earth. I have actually read A New Earth. And I must say it can completely revolutionize your thoughts on living life if you accept it. The website for Eckhart says it best, the books “provoke thought, insight, and smiling reverence for all beings and each moment.” Now I just need to get on the band wagon for reading The Power of Now, because after doing a bit of research it has really envoiked a lot of thought for me. With my life being so busy and my plate being so full I really do need to focus on enjoying every moment given to me. I am passing it forward as “Lori” did to me and recommend reading these book or at least embracing the present moment.
A couple quotes that stand out to me that I need to keep in mind are:
"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."
— Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose)


"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."
— Eckhart Tolle


"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."
— Eckhart Tolle

"Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is."
— Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment)

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."
— Eckhart Tolle

"Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the "love" of
ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her. The bond that connects you with that person is the same bond that connects you with the person sitting next to you on a bus, or with a bird, a tree, a flower. Only the degree of intensity with which it is felt differs."
— Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment)

"Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you."
— Eckhart Tolle

Project Home Improvement

So I have a 10 day break from class and I suddenly don't know what in the world to do with my free time. It's kinda ironic. The whole time during my first class I couldn't wait to just do whatever I wanted, but somewhere in there it is like I have forgotten how to do that. So this week I have over thought work, boys, and re-instated my project home improvement. I bought 8 lamps within two days! 8 lamps (like i said I don't know how to deal with the free time! haha) and the sad part is I still am not satisfied with any of my gagillion lamps!

But I started small with my projects this week. Hung some things on the wall, bought new place settings for my dining room. My lamp extravaganza. Decoring my new exitway piece of furniture, and busting out my new power drill and hanging some stemware holders. Here are some pictures to share:

The Power

Wow, did you know that I have 148 blog posts? Well maybe not 148 that you can read because I have about 15 or so saved drafts of posts titled, "Carebear Stare", or "Dipping the pen in Co Ink" or "Letter's to Juiliet".... I wish i had finished writing them, but its funny even though these drafts are pretty much bare I know exactly what each and everyone of them is referring to, even if it was back in 2009. I can't believe I have been writing a blog since the summer of 2009 (well for most of that time)! Crazy how time flies.

Anyways, back on track. The reason I was looking back through my posts was because I could have sworn I had written a post about one of my wacky theories I refer to as "the power". Now if you are a good friend of mine and more so I guess in college you have undoubtedly heard me refer to the power. The power is key.

There comes a time in every relationship, whether it is a friendship or more, when someone has "the power". It kinda prefaces the whole concept of the Rules which I know I have blogged about before but basically to have the power you have to have someone being vulnerable for you, not vis versa.

For instance you send a friend a text message and she forgets to respond and after about 24 hours you question... Is so and so mad at me? Are they ignoring me? So you text or you call her again. You run through every scenario in your head of what in the world could be wrong. Was it because I said this or because she had a car wreck and her phone has been demolished.... Your mind is consumed by the "what if" in the situation. If and when this has happened...YOU HAVE LOST THE POWER. Not that this is bad in a friendship because it just shows you care about the health of your relationship but clearly it is never good to fall victim to someone at the expense of your stress and emotions and it also brings up a bit of insecurity there.

Now this is even more tricky when it comes to the dating world because at this point both people in the relationship are still deciding whether or not the other is a whack job or not. You don't want to seem too advantageous or needy but you want to still seem interested. But all this gets so confusing in a day in age when (my life is ruled by insecurity) technology and instantaneous information is our way of life. I send an email, text or photo message to someone I generally expect a timely response. If I leave a voicemail I know it isn't on some answering machine but it is in their phone in their pocket waiting to be listened to at any moment.

There comes a cross road when you (well hopefully not you, but generally always for me if I actually start liking the guy) realize you have lost the power with someone in a relationship. When you start catching yourself waiting for their call or text. You look at your phone, Facebook, or email every fifteen minutes for an update. The hard part is you might not realize you are spinning out of control, inch by inch loosing the power, until too much damaged has been done. Maybe it is midway through your second (or tenth) voicemail or text when you realize you are way more concerned about the other person than the other is clearly concerned about you. Once this epiphany comes over you this is your cue to step back.

Maybe put your guard up a bit. Prepare yourself for not getting the call back. And vow to yourself to not do the chasing, let the chasing be done to you because if anything the rules has taught me, if someone likes you they will come get you.

So the rules I am going to make up for this very instance:
1) In case of a one sided text (aka one that doesn't require a response). Read it, enjoy the fact you got the text and move on. If the text does not require anymore of your attention don't let it. Don't think about it. Move on. If they want to talk to you more they will send another text.
2) Don't call him. If he calls, feel out the situation and make sure you are the one that ends the convo. Period.
3) Do not use Facebook as a middle man. Do not look at his page for updates, and do not post status' just because you think he will read them.
4) Once you realize that you have lost control, do not bring him up in conversation. Not with your mother, not with your best friend, not with a co-worker. If asked about him, just change the subject. There is no need to give him more thought than necessary. If he isn't thinking about you, why should you think about him. Regain power of your brain and your relationship!
5) It isn't a question of if but when you will slip up. When you catch yourself slipping restate to yourself "Must regain Power" and/or "I am worth the chase (even if i acted like a stalker two days ago)".
6) As much as we like to say we don't believe in games, bull shit. Our minds are naturally competitive. No matter how much we like to pretend we like things to be honest and simple, for some reason everything turns out complicated. So you might bring on your A game and make him work for it. Men love to feel like they've "won".

Yes, man!

So news on the horizon. I got an A on my first MBA class. Can I get a woot woot? Start my next class in less than an week and even before the first class I already have a ba-jillion reading assignments. Go figure right?

And other things on the horizon... I may visit wedding boy next weekend. This is still TBD. I am sure you all will read all about it if it comes to pass.

Also, getting amped up on the upcoming spring and gardening season. Expect bigger and better news about that!

And the last exciting news I can think of, I joined the stock market. I have in the past taken on the whole "live in the moment" concept in my life. It is so easy for me to get side tracked from this whole idea so I have kinda modified it to be more of "take risks in life" kinda motto.

I don't want to get to the end of the year and think what did I do with this year and say just work and school. I want to say that I have lived, that I have taken risks, that I've loved or attempted to, that I gave life a chance instead of shoving it into silos of "after grad school" or "when I have more free time".

So I got to thinking: Let's make life fun, what risks am I going to make today?
1) Even though I don't have a ton of funds I decided to say yes to a trip to Napa Valley in April
2) Even though this boy and this whole situation scares me, I totally put my pride on the line and was completely vulnerable to rejection when i asked if i could go visit wedding boy
3) I put $500 into the stock market
4) Planning a trip to South Carolina, Germany, and hopefully also Vegas this year (plus already made a trip to Opelika, AL and Nola this year so far!)
5)Bought my second piece of furniture from a store, brand new. Besides my cheap couch, I have only bought used furniture or passed down furniture.

And while I hope this list is just the beginning, I encourage you to have more of a "yes man" attitude towards life. Say yes even though you really want to say no to someone. Go out of your way to do something. Take a chance, make a risk, and do it like a bad ass!

The Martha's of the world

Martha Stewart….. now I don’t know much about her as a person. I mean I know she was a model when she was younger and then she apparently tyrantly (and even illegally) worked her way up to be the homemaker she is today but I have to admit minus those details that everyone holds over her head- I love her. I love the idea of her probably more so. I love her cook books, I love her magazine, I love her website, I love her cute ideas, I like the stuff she sales at K-mart, Michaels, ect…. She not only has 2 bachelor degrees, but she can cook, sew, create, garden, organize, host… and I am sure those are just the tip of the iceberg. She is what I like to think of a well rounded woman.

Being classified as one of those well rounded women is something I truly aspire for. I have groomed myself with a good education and I am currently working on another degree. I am constantly trying new recipes, love having people over for dinner, and love treating my co-workers with my latest homemade creation. I took sewing classes so when I wanted, I would be able to whip up a pillow or some sort of sewing project just because I got the whim to. I took a cake decorating class to get the inside scoop on how to make a homecake look off the chain. I bought a house so I could put my finesse into something and work on my own garden and landscaping. At one point in my life I put a lot of effort into playing music, more specifically the piano. While my skills are a bit out of practice I can still read music, always looking for great new artists, and have the utmost respect for musicians. I studied studio art in college and got my minor in oil painting. While again my skills are rusty I know if I had the time I could sit down and make something beautiful.

I don’t just want to be a homemaker (gotta find a husband and have a family before I have a true home but….) but I just want to be a well versed person. I may not be passionate but I try to keep up to date, to some degree, with sports, current events, books, religion, and building my friend and family life.

My mother and my grandmother (her mom) are some of the Martha Stewart’s of the world. And I think I just see how amazing they are as people and as women. They are my inspiration in life. I know I wont ever quite get there but it’s a good goal to aim for.

Life and its curve balls

Sometimes life throws us interesting curve balls. Doors open, doors close.... life happens in between and we are here to make a world out of it. It really is amazing to me how we live within a series of events and cause and effects. You may be questioning what I am getting at but I promise I will unravel the details but a little insight: Tonights topic of choice is going to be, I guess for lack of a better word, love or I guess just the quest of it.

Chain reaction in play:. I went to a wedding. At that wedding I met a boy. Even though the boy lived far from me, he followed up. Then he came to visit. I realized he was amazing.

Sounds soo simple written out. And actually it is really simple. Two people were attracted to each other, and decided to get to know each other better. But then emotions and the real world make it complicated (well let's be honest, probably only in my head they get complicated).

I don't guess you could say I "hit it off" with a lot of people. I wont say i have been unlucky in love because honestly I haven't but I haven't been lucky enough yet to find the one that sweeps me off my feet and says they can't live their life without me yet. I have had my heart broken into thousand pieces after a 5 year relationship. I was crushed when the first guy I liked in Nashville dropped me like it was hot. I put up with a jerk for a whole year because for some reason I was massively infatuated with him. And since then I have dated pretty much every type of man, confessed my crazy (un-reciprocated) thoughts to a guy friend , and have learned so much about myself, what I want in someone else, and everything in between in the process.

(Tonight's Valentine's Day so I will contribute 75% of all these crazy love thoughts due to the mere fact its a holiday that makes a girl fully aware of her current situation.)

But I think i caught a glimpse of what everyone talks about. What "hitting it off" feels like. And I must say it's amazing. It makes me realize what I am holding out for. Why I'm not going to settle. Why none of the people in the past have worked out. Now I wont get ahead of myself here. Wedding boy may just be a boy I spent an amazing weekend with but yesterday when he left I felt happiness I haven't felt in a VERY long time. I felt hope. I felt lucky to have gotten the chance to have such a great weekend with someone. After years of unreciprocated love, bad dates, and jerks I realized that maybe I could find love again. That a great guy can actually like me. That I deserve a guy that will treat me amazing.
BUT I wont deny at the same time, I'm kind of sad. I'm sad because he lives far away. I'm sad because its like someone giving me a sample without the option of buying. I'm sad because I don't know if I will ever actually see him again. I'm sad because even if we both admit we like each other the chances or us giving a relationship a fair shot (if he would even consider it) will be very difficult. It makes me frustrated with curve balls in life because now there is this person that I just happenstance met that will now leave a mark on me. Dealing with all the "wrong men" has given me such an appreciation for the good ones, and when you find someone amazing it's hard not to try to hold on.

I have NO idea what lies in store for wedding boy and me... and honestly not knowing excites me. The unknown is the beauty of life because only time will tell and decide what other curve balls it will throw in my life path. On one note, where there is a will there is a way, and the on another note, (And while the word love is clearly a bit strong for this instance) Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

I'm going to end with a quote I ironically came across this morning.
"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If i didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

What's free time?

Sometimes life just doesn't allocate us enough time to do everything and for me the last few weeks one of those activities has been blogging. Since I have talked to you all last I stayed a week with my sister and her family, started grad school, and tried to have a life in the mean time. A trip to NOLA, a wedding, working the weekend.... it has been such an adjustment. I work my full time job, to then go study or go to class everynight, get home at 1030, do more school work and then sleep and do it all over again. Just last week someone was like, "So what does it feel like to be a grad student?" and all i said was it feels like having no life! haha I think I ran myself so hard my body couldn't take it. I got a stomach virus. The sickiest I can remember being since like 4th grade. Then followed that up with a cold that never seemed to get better. My schedule definitley did not allocate suffiecient time to be sick and get everything on the agenda done. It was miserable.

I never dreamed starting grad school again would be so life altering. I knew I was rusty in terms of my studying and time management skills but it really has been an eye opener. I can't even describe to you how scared I was going into class that first day. I didn't have any idea what to expect. Will I be the youngest person? The least experienced person? One of the only females? Will I not be as smart as everyone else? Will I be able to do this? But now a month in I can say fully that while this challenege has been insane it has been amazing. I can see a total shift in my critical thinking skills. I have learned to say no (something I hate doing... never want to miss out on anything) and practiced the idea of prioritizing what's the most important on my to do list. And I realized I don't necessarily give myself enough credit in the "smarts" department. I have met some amazing people through this first class and I am so glad I finally took the pludge to better my future.

Just 9.5 more classes to go! LOL

Tis the season for Xmas Cards

So one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is getting to read my dad's Christmas card. Well the time is here and figured I might as well share it with my blog family.

I wish all of you a VERY merry Christmas! (I'm sure I'll be talking to you all before new years, but if not Happy 2011 peeps!)


Merry Christmas 2010

As 2010 draws to a quick close we take time to look back on this year. A fairly mild winter which turned into an early spring helped the corn and beans to be planted quickly and get off to a good start, then WHAM it all changed. First we received a 6-inch rain and then watched over 200 acres of corn drown under flood water. When it did finally dry out enough to replant the corn little did we know that it was the last rain we would receive for nearly 6 months. Yields suffered but it was better than I expected but far from being a great crop. We started harvesting in mid-August earlier than we ever have before and that’s about the only benefit of a drought I can think of.

Christy entered the real world of home ownership this year by purchasing a home in east Nashville right before the flood. The floodwaters got within a ½ mile of her house, but she is on a hill so there was no damage. It was really heartbreaking to see what the rain did. Parts of Nashville will never be the same. Christy is still working with Ingram Barge Co. and manages the Ingram traffic on the Tennessee River and Kentucky Lake.

Sarah and Nick surprised all earlier this year announcing that they were expecting a baby. On December 7, Carter Ray Huelsman entered the world. That makes Cindy and I grandparents and that’s not all that bad. The biggest smile I have ever seen on Cindy was when she held Carter. I knew then he was a keeper. I can tell he has a little of his Granddad Mitchell in him, he sleeps every chance he gets! Sarah is still a branch manger with PNC Bank and Nick works with Flynn Brothers Construction in Louisville.

The excitement of Carter’s birth was quickly subdued as Cindy’s dad, CA, passed away 2 days later. He fought cancer and other health problems for many years. He never did let his health problems deter his drive. He just made them another obstacle to overcome and forged ahead. Sarah and Nick were able to attend the services with Carter. It was interesting to watch as people expressed condolences and excitement about a birth at the same time. I believe CA would have liked this very much. Cindy is still delivering the mail and driving over 80 miles every day one box at a time.

As for me, I have just sat back and observed a roller coaster ride of emotions over the year. Floods, drought, death, birth, my dads 6 weeks in the hospital over the summer with an infection in his heart, my Mom’s continuing back problems and even a wedding. Cindy’s brother got married the day after Thanksgiving. But the Christmas season isn’t complete without thinking of our friends scattered out everywhere. Be it just down the road, across the country or even on another continent. Your memory or a wave as we meet puts a smile on my face. This year the sounds of a baby returns home after an absence of many years. I thought what a wonderful thing to have a baby crying and a cow mooing on Christmas morning. It’s the same sounds heard by another proud mom and dad some 2000 years ago.

As 2010 quickly closes and 2011 knocks on the door, I wish each and all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and healthy new year.

Chris