Yes, man!

So news on the horizon. I got an A on my first MBA class. Can I get a woot woot? Start my next class in less than an week and even before the first class I already have a ba-jillion reading assignments. Go figure right?

And other things on the horizon... I may visit wedding boy next weekend. This is still TBD. I am sure you all will read all about it if it comes to pass.

Also, getting amped up on the upcoming spring and gardening season. Expect bigger and better news about that!

And the last exciting news I can think of, I joined the stock market. I have in the past taken on the whole "live in the moment" concept in my life. It is so easy for me to get side tracked from this whole idea so I have kinda modified it to be more of "take risks in life" kinda motto.

I don't want to get to the end of the year and think what did I do with this year and say just work and school. I want to say that I have lived, that I have taken risks, that I've loved or attempted to, that I gave life a chance instead of shoving it into silos of "after grad school" or "when I have more free time".

So I got to thinking: Let's make life fun, what risks am I going to make today?
1) Even though I don't have a ton of funds I decided to say yes to a trip to Napa Valley in April
2) Even though this boy and this whole situation scares me, I totally put my pride on the line and was completely vulnerable to rejection when i asked if i could go visit wedding boy
3) I put $500 into the stock market
4) Planning a trip to South Carolina, Germany, and hopefully also Vegas this year (plus already made a trip to Opelika, AL and Nola this year so far!)
5)Bought my second piece of furniture from a store, brand new. Besides my cheap couch, I have only bought used furniture or passed down furniture.

And while I hope this list is just the beginning, I encourage you to have more of a "yes man" attitude towards life. Say yes even though you really want to say no to someone. Go out of your way to do something. Take a chance, make a risk, and do it like a bad ass!

The Martha's of the world

Martha Stewart….. now I don’t know much about her as a person. I mean I know she was a model when she was younger and then she apparently tyrantly (and even illegally) worked her way up to be the homemaker she is today but I have to admit minus those details that everyone holds over her head- I love her. I love the idea of her probably more so. I love her cook books, I love her magazine, I love her website, I love her cute ideas, I like the stuff she sales at K-mart, Michaels, ect…. She not only has 2 bachelor degrees, but she can cook, sew, create, garden, organize, host… and I am sure those are just the tip of the iceberg. She is what I like to think of a well rounded woman.

Being classified as one of those well rounded women is something I truly aspire for. I have groomed myself with a good education and I am currently working on another degree. I am constantly trying new recipes, love having people over for dinner, and love treating my co-workers with my latest homemade creation. I took sewing classes so when I wanted, I would be able to whip up a pillow or some sort of sewing project just because I got the whim to. I took a cake decorating class to get the inside scoop on how to make a homecake look off the chain. I bought a house so I could put my finesse into something and work on my own garden and landscaping. At one point in my life I put a lot of effort into playing music, more specifically the piano. While my skills are a bit out of practice I can still read music, always looking for great new artists, and have the utmost respect for musicians. I studied studio art in college and got my minor in oil painting. While again my skills are rusty I know if I had the time I could sit down and make something beautiful.

I don’t just want to be a homemaker (gotta find a husband and have a family before I have a true home but….) but I just want to be a well versed person. I may not be passionate but I try to keep up to date, to some degree, with sports, current events, books, religion, and building my friend and family life.

My mother and my grandmother (her mom) are some of the Martha Stewart’s of the world. And I think I just see how amazing they are as people and as women. They are my inspiration in life. I know I wont ever quite get there but it’s a good goal to aim for.

Life and its curve balls

Sometimes life throws us interesting curve balls. Doors open, doors close.... life happens in between and we are here to make a world out of it. It really is amazing to me how we live within a series of events and cause and effects. You may be questioning what I am getting at but I promise I will unravel the details but a little insight: Tonights topic of choice is going to be, I guess for lack of a better word, love or I guess just the quest of it.

Chain reaction in play:. I went to a wedding. At that wedding I met a boy. Even though the boy lived far from me, he followed up. Then he came to visit. I realized he was amazing.

Sounds soo simple written out. And actually it is really simple. Two people were attracted to each other, and decided to get to know each other better. But then emotions and the real world make it complicated (well let's be honest, probably only in my head they get complicated).

I don't guess you could say I "hit it off" with a lot of people. I wont say i have been unlucky in love because honestly I haven't but I haven't been lucky enough yet to find the one that sweeps me off my feet and says they can't live their life without me yet. I have had my heart broken into thousand pieces after a 5 year relationship. I was crushed when the first guy I liked in Nashville dropped me like it was hot. I put up with a jerk for a whole year because for some reason I was massively infatuated with him. And since then I have dated pretty much every type of man, confessed my crazy (un-reciprocated) thoughts to a guy friend , and have learned so much about myself, what I want in someone else, and everything in between in the process.

(Tonight's Valentine's Day so I will contribute 75% of all these crazy love thoughts due to the mere fact its a holiday that makes a girl fully aware of her current situation.)

But I think i caught a glimpse of what everyone talks about. What "hitting it off" feels like. And I must say it's amazing. It makes me realize what I am holding out for. Why I'm not going to settle. Why none of the people in the past have worked out. Now I wont get ahead of myself here. Wedding boy may just be a boy I spent an amazing weekend with but yesterday when he left I felt happiness I haven't felt in a VERY long time. I felt hope. I felt lucky to have gotten the chance to have such a great weekend with someone. After years of unreciprocated love, bad dates, and jerks I realized that maybe I could find love again. That a great guy can actually like me. That I deserve a guy that will treat me amazing.
BUT I wont deny at the same time, I'm kind of sad. I'm sad because he lives far away. I'm sad because its like someone giving me a sample without the option of buying. I'm sad because I don't know if I will ever actually see him again. I'm sad because even if we both admit we like each other the chances or us giving a relationship a fair shot (if he would even consider it) will be very difficult. It makes me frustrated with curve balls in life because now there is this person that I just happenstance met that will now leave a mark on me. Dealing with all the "wrong men" has given me such an appreciation for the good ones, and when you find someone amazing it's hard not to try to hold on.

I have NO idea what lies in store for wedding boy and me... and honestly not knowing excites me. The unknown is the beauty of life because only time will tell and decide what other curve balls it will throw in my life path. On one note, where there is a will there is a way, and the on another note, (And while the word love is clearly a bit strong for this instance) Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

I'm going to end with a quote I ironically came across this morning.
"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If i didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

What's free time?

Sometimes life just doesn't allocate us enough time to do everything and for me the last few weeks one of those activities has been blogging. Since I have talked to you all last I stayed a week with my sister and her family, started grad school, and tried to have a life in the mean time. A trip to NOLA, a wedding, working the weekend.... it has been such an adjustment. I work my full time job, to then go study or go to class everynight, get home at 1030, do more school work and then sleep and do it all over again. Just last week someone was like, "So what does it feel like to be a grad student?" and all i said was it feels like having no life! haha I think I ran myself so hard my body couldn't take it. I got a stomach virus. The sickiest I can remember being since like 4th grade. Then followed that up with a cold that never seemed to get better. My schedule definitley did not allocate suffiecient time to be sick and get everything on the agenda done. It was miserable.

I never dreamed starting grad school again would be so life altering. I knew I was rusty in terms of my studying and time management skills but it really has been an eye opener. I can't even describe to you how scared I was going into class that first day. I didn't have any idea what to expect. Will I be the youngest person? The least experienced person? One of the only females? Will I not be as smart as everyone else? Will I be able to do this? But now a month in I can say fully that while this challenege has been insane it has been amazing. I can see a total shift in my critical thinking skills. I have learned to say no (something I hate doing... never want to miss out on anything) and practiced the idea of prioritizing what's the most important on my to do list. And I realized I don't necessarily give myself enough credit in the "smarts" department. I have met some amazing people through this first class and I am so glad I finally took the pludge to better my future.

Just 9.5 more classes to go! LOL

Tis the season for Xmas Cards

So one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is getting to read my dad's Christmas card. Well the time is here and figured I might as well share it with my blog family.

I wish all of you a VERY merry Christmas! (I'm sure I'll be talking to you all before new years, but if not Happy 2011 peeps!)


Merry Christmas 2010

As 2010 draws to a quick close we take time to look back on this year. A fairly mild winter which turned into an early spring helped the corn and beans to be planted quickly and get off to a good start, then WHAM it all changed. First we received a 6-inch rain and then watched over 200 acres of corn drown under flood water. When it did finally dry out enough to replant the corn little did we know that it was the last rain we would receive for nearly 6 months. Yields suffered but it was better than I expected but far from being a great crop. We started harvesting in mid-August earlier than we ever have before and that’s about the only benefit of a drought I can think of.

Christy entered the real world of home ownership this year by purchasing a home in east Nashville right before the flood. The floodwaters got within a ½ mile of her house, but she is on a hill so there was no damage. It was really heartbreaking to see what the rain did. Parts of Nashville will never be the same. Christy is still working with Ingram Barge Co. and manages the Ingram traffic on the Tennessee River and Kentucky Lake.

Sarah and Nick surprised all earlier this year announcing that they were expecting a baby. On December 7, Carter Ray Huelsman entered the world. That makes Cindy and I grandparents and that’s not all that bad. The biggest smile I have ever seen on Cindy was when she held Carter. I knew then he was a keeper. I can tell he has a little of his Granddad Mitchell in him, he sleeps every chance he gets! Sarah is still a branch manger with PNC Bank and Nick works with Flynn Brothers Construction in Louisville.

The excitement of Carter’s birth was quickly subdued as Cindy’s dad, CA, passed away 2 days later. He fought cancer and other health problems for many years. He never did let his health problems deter his drive. He just made them another obstacle to overcome and forged ahead. Sarah and Nick were able to attend the services with Carter. It was interesting to watch as people expressed condolences and excitement about a birth at the same time. I believe CA would have liked this very much. Cindy is still delivering the mail and driving over 80 miles every day one box at a time.

As for me, I have just sat back and observed a roller coaster ride of emotions over the year. Floods, drought, death, birth, my dads 6 weeks in the hospital over the summer with an infection in his heart, my Mom’s continuing back problems and even a wedding. Cindy’s brother got married the day after Thanksgiving. But the Christmas season isn’t complete without thinking of our friends scattered out everywhere. Be it just down the road, across the country or even on another continent. Your memory or a wave as we meet puts a smile on my face. This year the sounds of a baby returns home after an absence of many years. I thought what a wonderful thing to have a baby crying and a cow mooing on Christmas morning. It’s the same sounds heard by another proud mom and dad some 2000 years ago.

As 2010 quickly closes and 2011 knocks on the door, I wish each and all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and healthy new year.

Chris

DIng DIng DIng

The above words in the title may not mean much to the average person but to me those are three words that will forever hold a special place in my heart.

A week ago today my grandfather, or as I would call him Papa (pawpaw), passed away. Even though the funeral has passed and our goodbyes have been said it still feels weird typing that out. My grandfather was a fighter and I was blessed with every single day I got to share with him because I was supposed to have lost him many years ago.

My grandfather had to work very hard for everything he got in his life and that included his fight to live his because God put before him many health issues. The first I can remember was when I was 5 or 6. Papa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and cancer of the common bile duct. Now no cancer is good cancer but this cancer was really no good and his chances for survival were slim. My grandfather received a whipple procedure. This procedure consisted of removing half of the stomach, the gall bladder, the common bile duct, the head of the pancreas, and a few random other things. Then in laymans terms what is left has to be rerouted to work again. This was 20 years ago. Back then this surgery had a much higher death rate and the stats weren't near as good. Even today, the overall survival after the whipple operation is only 20% at 5 years after surgery. My grandfather A) lived through the surgery, and B) lived on for 20 more years. He was a living miracle.

His battle didn't stop there. When I was a sophomore in college, I remember I was in a friends dorm room when my mother called to tell me Papa had been diagnosed with Esophagial cancer. Something to the affect that it was a long term affect of the whipple surgery affecting the nerve endings in his stomach causing acid reflux that caused irregular cells in his esophagus. (yes i could have totally just butchered that diagnosis, just retelling my memories here people. LOL) I remember how much he didn't want that surgery but being the fighter he was he was determined to live. He had he esophagus removed and in its place the put a portion of his colon.

A few years later I remember going to the hospital when he had a heart stint put in. And less than a year ago he suffered a heart attack, battled a flesh eating bacteria, and the list just goes on until his body could no longer put up the fight my grandfather was giving it to live.

And while yes clearly I know all these details, these facts are not the memories that make up my grandfather in my mind. My grandfather was an amazing man. He loved his family very much. He was one of the hardest working people I know and most definitely was one of the smartest business and investing men I knew. He was strong willed and as i have said several times before a fighter and a miracle. He had the memory of an elephant. Was outspoken. A republican. An oil man. Loved the color red. He loved dogs, and practically had a zoo of squirrels he fed on the regular. He had a love for food. This list could go on......I have a world full of amazing memories. All the holidays, birthdays, graduations, and Sunday trips to visit. The summer I worked in his office. The time him and my grandmother visiting me while I was in college... My poor grandfather rode in the back seat of my little two door coupe car as I weaved in and out of traffic. haha still cracks me up. Looking back I should have probably slowed down a bit.

But my favorite memories are those at KY lake. Swimming, boating, fish fries, huge firework shows, and saving the best for last-fishing. My grandfather loved to troll fish and he loved taking his grandchildren out to fish with him. And when out on the water and it was time for all of us kids to let out our lines he always said "ding, ding, ding".

I know I probably rambled on too long, and wrote to much or too little about this or that but death is a hard thing and the loss of my grandfather is bittersweet. I know he is in a much better place. He is no longer suffering his ailments or pain. I want to thank God for making my grandfather a miracle. For giving him the will to fight so hard and so long because I cant imagine the last twenty years of my life without him. He will be very missed not only by me and my family but by so many other people that were touched by his life here on earth.

And I can just hear God telling him "ding ding ding" because Thursday afternoon was my grandfather's time.......

Here is the obituary from the paper.

C.A. Robinson, 78, of Evansville passed away Thursday December 9, 2010 at Angel River Health Care.

C.A. was a veteran of the US Air Force before graduating from Louisiana Tech University in 1957 with his Bachelors degree in Petroleum Engineering. He started his career as Petroleum Engineer with Magnolia Petroleum Co. in Salem, IL, after a few years he moved to Kingwood Oil Co. as Division Engineer and then became Division Manager. Later he went to work at Lohmann-Johnson Pollution Control and Production as Operations Manager and Manager of Temple Operating Co. in Evansville and retired as a Petroleum Consultant, Independent Producer and Drilling Contractor.

He developed and was president of many companies including Robinson Engineering, Robinson Engineering and Oil Co., Inc., Indiana Petroleum Contractors, Inc., Indiana Drilling Company, Consumers Gas Co., and Egyptian Gas Storage Corp. He was director for Old National Bank for over 20 years, Indiana Oil Co., and Ohio Valley Wireless.

CA belonged to many professional and business organizations that included Registered Professional Engineer in LA, KY and IL, past president of the Indiana Oil and Gas Assoc., Vice President of Independent Oil Producers Assoc., he was a member of the American Petroleum Institute, the Society of Petroleum Engineering of AIME, the International Assoc. of Oilwell Drilling Cont. and a member and director of Illinois Oil and Gas Association and Kentucky Oil and Gas Association.

He belonged to many social and fraternal organizations such as Evansville Country Club, Hadi Shrine Temple, Reed Masonic Lodge, the 32nd Degree Scottish Rite, Royal Order of Jesters, Kennel Club, the Evansville Museum and he was the Director of the Boys and Girls Club of America. He was a lifetime Trustee for the University of Evansville and a Charter member of Aldersgate United Methodist Church.

CA is survived by his wife of 55 years Kate (Glenn) Robinson; son and daughter-in-law Glenn and Monica Robinson of Evansville, their children Chuck Robinson, Ann Robinson, Robert Robinson, John Robinson, Ellie Shakun and Olivia Shakun; daughter and son-in-law Cindy and Chris Mitchell of Clay, KY, their children Christy Mitchell, Sara Huelsman husband Nick and their son Carter Huelsman; nieces Amy Jefferies and husband Brian and Katie Warms and husband Wade. C.A.'s grandchildren will be honorary pall bears.

Visitation will be from 4:00 - 7:00 pm Sunday, December 12, 2010 at Ziemer Funeral Home East Chapel, 800 S. Hebron Ave., Evansville, IN 47714. Funeral service will be 10:00 am Monday at Aldersgate United Methodist Church, 5130 Lincoln Ave., Evansville, IN with Rev. Mitch Gieselman and Rev. Rob Kell officiating.

Burial will be at Sunset Memorial Park Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be made to The Boys & Girls Club, 700 Bellemeade Ave., Evansville, IN 47713, Capital Campaign at Aldersgate United Methodist Church, 5130 Lincoln Ave., Evansville, IN 47715 or University of Evansville, 1800 Lincoln Avenue, Evansville, Indiana 47714.

The family would like to thank the staff of Angel River, Dr. Stephen Koewler and staff, and special friend and caregiver Ruby Sunderman for their kind and compassionate care of C.A.

Condolences may be made to the family online at www.ziemerfuneralhome.com

Carter Ray Huelsman

December 7th at 309 eastern time the most perfect child was given to my sister and her husband. Popped out healthy as a clam, all ten fingers and toes, and the most precious little face you could ever imagine. Weighing in at only 5 pounds and 14 ounces, 18.5 inches long, Carter was the perfect early Christmas present!

The process of watching my sister grow through all this has really been touching to me. Watching a new mother learn to breast feed, adjust to being sleep deprived, changing diapers, suffering from the wounds of a c-section delivery. Everything has just been so primitive and natural and just beautiful. I am just in awe that baby came from her stomach, milk comes out her boobies and that a baby can seem so perfect.

Aunt C learning to be a good Auntie!

It's raining men....

It's raining men, Hallelujah? Nope... not getting praises from me yet. Yes, for some reason I have been getting quite a bit more attention from men the past couple of weeks than normal. I wont deny I do love the attention. But there has just been a catch with these guys. They all have something terribly off with them. Tainted goods, is what I will call them.

First it was a guy that had a deep aversion to the concept of faith and anyone that believed in God. 25 minutes in a heated debate and I knew that was the end of that potential relationship.

Then it was a guy with a major speech impediment. This fault I think I could get over. He seemed fun, had a good job, was cute and I think that the speech issue would eventually be invisible to me. But it is still something that stuck out to me.

Then I had the guy tell me he would love to "hook up" but he didn't actually want to date me. Really?! Okay Buh BYE!

And drum roll please. Totally had to save the best for last. Total cutie and physically was 100% my type. Tall, preppy and manly. My first impression was a really good one. He was funny, danced, had a job, and had a pretty decent group of friends he was with. Always a good sign. He asked and I gave him my number when he said he was leaving. At this point it seemed like a decent prospect. I was even excited when he decided to stay. Until he dropped the bomb on me.

And what did i find out when he stuck around you may ask?..... Yes this lovely gentlemen told me he had shot and killed someone that raped his cousin. He said he wasn't sorry for what he did and that he owed a bookie a substantial amount of money for his bail (he said 1.3 million). At this point I wasn't for sure what in the world was going on. I was scared, shocked, and wanted my number back but the talking just got worse. He told me how he grew up literally in the projects in east nashville and about his horrible child hood and how he had done some really bad things in his life. I wanted to run and hide. I tried to get my friends to save me from this stage five (murdering) clinger. I think literally the words out of my mouth were, "i'm a good girl. I don't do bad things". haha I am sure I had terror smeared across my face.

Am I a horrible person for making these judgements? Should I really judge someone on their past like that? It's not that I was technically judging him but I just don't want to date him or someone with those type of credentials. Anyways, all these stories have really had me evaluate what i want in a partner and clearly what I don't want.

Likes:

From a stable family/family oriented/similiar upbringing as myself

Went to college (preferably not community)/has his masters or more

Has a decent job and has goals

Someone that is not socially inept and is a fun person

Believes in God and has a similar morale code as myself

Honest, no liars, cheaters, flakes

Attractive.... even if it is just to some degree. I don't need brad pitt

Likes to travel, music, likes to splurge on occasion, spontaneous

Likes to be active (doesn't have to be lance armstrong or anything but not lazy is preferable) and enjoys sports

Giver-I'm a giver and resent those that aren't as thoughtful

Likes pets and can accept my Puddy Tat

Wants kids one day

Dislikes: They are generally the opposites to my likes but here are a few more.

Pompous (while being confident can be attractive, a big ego can also be a BIG turn off)

Is selfish and is a "taker", and is all ME ME ME.

Men with commitment issues

Complains about my friends. My friends are my family. Don't talk trash and make an effort to be their friend too

Men that can't or choose not to communicate. I prefer open books. Secrets don't make friends and definitely not lovers.

Is a liberal

Scared to get their hands dirty

Someone that is a baby, gets sick frequently, and whines all the time. No sir!

Dresses like a slob

Is dumb

NOT A CONVICTED FELON/MURDER/RAPIST/ABUSER/DRUG USER/ECT....

Now call me too picky if you must. And while some of them are just wants or strong dislikes if the right person were around I may be able to compromise on a few options but some of these i have learned are NON negotiable.

They do say you have to go through a lot of frogs before you find your prince. LOL

What's on your list?

Feeling poetic

I have mentioned before my supposed lyrical soul. One thing I don't mention very often though is poetry. Feeling poetic and romantic today so I thought I would share a few of my favorites. If you actually plan on reading them, please turn off the music, shut out any distractions and take in the beautiful words written before you.

SONNET 18 by Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

How Do I Love Thee: Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men might strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Change is 100% certain

One of the beautiful things about life is there is no guarantee (well as many would say except for death and taxes! lol). If you live long enough you will see all sides of life. Love, loss, jealously, fear, sickness, betrayal, happiness, depression, excitement, disappointment.... and everything that falls there and in between. We are most 100% certain to be guaranteed those changes.

"Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is...everything."

Why is change so difficult? Why do we love to waller in our comfort zone or routine and familiarity? This quote is exactly right! No one likes change. Change is new and uncharted territory. Change means not knowing what to expect. But change takes us through the journey of life and without it we would miss out on so many new exciting and different experiences and emotions, relationships, journeys, ect.

Right now I think i am in denial about the change around me. My life is growing up.

My sister and her husband are having a baby on Tuesday.... 3 DAYS AWAY! OMG i just honestly haven't grasped my mind around it yet. I am SOOOO excited yet scared for her and the changes associated with it at the same time. Carter (the soon to be addition) will be such a blessing to our lives. But what scared me about this (majorly life altering) change is, will everything be different now? I know my sister is probably having the same thoughts too. Having a baby is just plan scary.....But I know this change is for the good. I know there will be hard moments but I also know those petty things will be so outweighed by the precious gift God has given our family. Adding a new birthday to the list, a new face to pictures and events, adding a name to my prayer list.... The gift of life is a beautiful thing and my sister's family growing will most definitely will change family's life exponentially FOR THE BETTER! :)

Another big thing for me is a couple of my extremely close relationships have been changing. The major one Including the fact that my best friend, practically my sister, is moving to Germany next week. Thank God she moved from Nashville in March to slowly prepare me for the transition. LOL It's really bittersweet for me. She is one of the most amazing people, with so much talent in whatever she does. I knew when I met her she would go big places and I am SOO excited for her. Moving to Germany to take the next step in her life and hopefully her career.... I mean that is big, and awesome and I am in awe of her courage and drive. But I'll say it.... I'm sad.

Part of me can't help but be selfish in both of these situations and not want things to change. I'm scared because I know it is inevitable for our current relationships to change to some degree and those possible changes scare me.

Okay well enough thought about all this change biznaz for today. None of this is really happening yet (well for at least a few more days LOL) and so for now I am going to jump back on my train of Denial Denial Denial! haha

But as the quote above says, you have to adapt to change.... And in a few days when that time of change begins by golly I will be ready to adapt because there is no way in hell I am going to be left behind in either my sister's or Kacey's life. Bring on the babysitting and the skyping! :o)