There are some realizations in life I try to remember throughout my day to day life and when building relationships with people.
Realization 1: Don’t guilt trip.
If someone wanted to do something they would- As simple as that. It’s called free will. Yes we have tools to help change people’s actions such as reverse psychology, make someone feel bad about their choices (aka a guilt trip), and persuasion but deep down all you are doing is breaking someone down. I want the people around me to do things because they want too, because they care. If not, I will always know that that person didn’t do something solely for themselves- I selfishly had to convince someone to do something for me.
Realization 2: Kind words
Say thank you, give compliments, smile, be grateful…. Kind words can be short but their echos can be truly endless… Never forget that. Happiness is contagious! Joy and being appreciative can be medicine for the soul.
Realization 3: Apologies
Only say sorry if you truly mean it. For serious matters, the word sorry should almost be as sacred as the phrase I love you. When you say it you better mean it. If not your words and intentions are misleading and they can be very hurtful to you and all the relationships around you.
Realization 4: You can’t make someone love you
Someone can do all the right things, say the right things, buy the right things, be exactly the person you want them to be but that doesn’t ensure you will fall in love with them. As George Straight puts it “You can’t make a heart love somebody, you can tell it what to do but it won’t listen at all. You can’t make a heart love someone. You can lead a heart to love but you can’t make it fall.” I have learned all you can do is offer your love and the rest is up to the other person.
Realization 5: The golden rule
Treat people the way you want to be treated. I actually stole this from the best book of wisdom ever….the bible. But for such a simple rule of life I try to live by, I and I am sure lots people fail every day trying. If you try to apply this rule to every interaction in your life dealing with other people-family, friends, co-workers, strangers, neighbors, whomever, you’re not just doing good things for those people but often times those people will treat you better in return. I think this rule of thumb helps make the world a better place one small gesture at a time. And even if people don’t give you the pleasure of treating you that way in return, you at least will have satisfaction in yourself, knowledge that you are a good person.
I understand I am just 24 and I still have a lot to learn about life. My thoughts and ideas are constantly changing and most of the time my opinions turn out to be nothing more than elementary level common sense. You would think that theories and ideas that are so easy to comprehend would be easier to execute. Anyways, thanks for reading! :o)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Drizzunk Diarrhea of the Mouth
Booze: are they really a truth serum? Is the phrase "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts" true? Does drinking just cause us to loose our inhibitions allowing us to say things we think often but rarely dare to say (liquid courage as I have called it many times in my drinking days. lol) or are drunk words just drunken words?
Let's make a drunken line-up. There is the shy gone talky drunk, the horny drunk, the fighter drunk, the I love you! drunk, the lets talk about life learned lessons drunk, the bitchy drunk... I mean let's be honest the list could go on forever but is that just our true selves coming into light? When we get crunk (that means crazy drunk in my dictionary), we let our guard down- we don't care who is judging us, who hears/sees us, what the consequences will be... During that time we are at one with our self (often time meaning our thoughts equal our speech).Now I am sure the level of intoxication should be taken into consideration. If you are black out drunk, there is no telling what could come out of your mouth (literally and figuratively haha) but what about other times?I can think of tons of instances off the top of my head when there were long talks, flirtations, fights, jokes, texting, calling, dancing, come to Jesus talks, crying, kisses.... instances that were all influenced by alcohol and most likely wouldn't have happened without it. When a friend puts you in your place, telling you how it is but then doesn't remember the next day... Is that how they truly feel or does the fact they were drunk discount those words as facts, as truths? Or what about those times when someone tells you they like you or on the occasion that they love you (not the I love you, and you, oh and you too kind of drunk I love yous either!) The fact of the matter is, if you are questioning whether or not a drunk man's words are someone’s true honest feelings in the first place, something that was said or done has made an impact on you. Those feelings are something you can't take back- even if the other party doesn't remember.
This question/phrase has been on my mind for sometime now and even more so after a weekend of slight debauchery. Tonight I am making my decision about my thoughts on the subject. I have come to conclusion that if they aren't words spoken in our sober world, then it isn't real....it isn't real truth.Drunken thoughts should be classified as just that-drunken thoughts. Until those words are proven true in sober, thought out logical words, we should just classify them as fiction. And while the truth of the situation may actually be that yes, subconsciously somewhere there is truth to all drunken banter- what does it matter if those words can't stand their own in our present sober life and conversations? If you would have been sober, most likely those words would never have been exchanged, you would have never heard/said them or been affected by them. It’s hard to put what I am thinking right now into words and honestly I don't know if what I am typing right now actually makes any sense. Maybe this is just a coping mechanism I am scheming up to help myself understand life or feel better, but if someone isn't willing to say something to you when they are sober, I think there is a reason for it. Thoughts or those random ideas that run through our mind in the heat of the moment aren't always accurate much less meant to be spoken. I think sometimes when we are drunk we forget that and we should count these inebriated words as part of the entertainment from the evening.
I am sure there are scientific explanations to all this that I am unaware of but in the mean time I could come up with theories and explanations all night long. To me this subject isn’t black or white. Unfortunately, there is the huge span of grey area that I will never really comprehend because there is no right or wrong answer to the way our mind works or the things we think - normally or when we are under the influence (unless we know and understand scientifically how our brain processes). Personally when I drink I can be as honest as a catholic in confession but there have also been times when I have said things I never even knew I thought or considered. Who knows….
Let's make a drunken line-up. There is the shy gone talky drunk, the horny drunk, the fighter drunk, the I love you! drunk, the lets talk about life learned lessons drunk, the bitchy drunk... I mean let's be honest the list could go on forever but is that just our true selves coming into light? When we get crunk (that means crazy drunk in my dictionary), we let our guard down- we don't care who is judging us, who hears/sees us, what the consequences will be... During that time we are at one with our self (often time meaning our thoughts equal our speech).Now I am sure the level of intoxication should be taken into consideration. If you are black out drunk, there is no telling what could come out of your mouth (literally and figuratively haha) but what about other times?I can think of tons of instances off the top of my head when there were long talks, flirtations, fights, jokes, texting, calling, dancing, come to Jesus talks, crying, kisses.... instances that were all influenced by alcohol and most likely wouldn't have happened without it. When a friend puts you in your place, telling you how it is but then doesn't remember the next day... Is that how they truly feel or does the fact they were drunk discount those words as facts, as truths? Or what about those times when someone tells you they like you or on the occasion that they love you (not the I love you, and you, oh and you too kind of drunk I love yous either!) The fact of the matter is, if you are questioning whether or not a drunk man's words are someone’s true honest feelings in the first place, something that was said or done has made an impact on you. Those feelings are something you can't take back- even if the other party doesn't remember.
This question/phrase has been on my mind for sometime now and even more so after a weekend of slight debauchery. Tonight I am making my decision about my thoughts on the subject. I have come to conclusion that if they aren't words spoken in our sober world, then it isn't real....it isn't real truth.Drunken thoughts should be classified as just that-drunken thoughts. Until those words are proven true in sober, thought out logical words, we should just classify them as fiction. And while the truth of the situation may actually be that yes, subconsciously somewhere there is truth to all drunken banter- what does it matter if those words can't stand their own in our present sober life and conversations? If you would have been sober, most likely those words would never have been exchanged, you would have never heard/said them or been affected by them. It’s hard to put what I am thinking right now into words and honestly I don't know if what I am typing right now actually makes any sense. Maybe this is just a coping mechanism I am scheming up to help myself understand life or feel better, but if someone isn't willing to say something to you when they are sober, I think there is a reason for it. Thoughts or those random ideas that run through our mind in the heat of the moment aren't always accurate much less meant to be spoken. I think sometimes when we are drunk we forget that and we should count these inebriated words as part of the entertainment from the evening.
I am sure there are scientific explanations to all this that I am unaware of but in the mean time I could come up with theories and explanations all night long. To me this subject isn’t black or white. Unfortunately, there is the huge span of grey area that I will never really comprehend because there is no right or wrong answer to the way our mind works or the things we think - normally or when we are under the influence (unless we know and understand scientifically how our brain processes). Personally when I drink I can be as honest as a catholic in confession but there have also been times when I have said things I never even knew I thought or considered. Who knows….
Friday, October 16, 2009
Ain't for sissies!
I would not describe myself as bendy, flexible or in shape by any means. So I dunno where I got the bright idea to do yoga. haha Last night I attended my first real yoga class (no those yoga classes I took in college where i giggled the whole time don't count...) I was thinking inner peace, mediation, working on my balance, relaxing..... What I learned last night is there is alot more to yoga than deep breathing and standing on one foot. I was by far the largest person in the class, and the ONLY person in the class that had no experience with yoga. The class focused on stretching, core strength, balance, and first and foremost breathing. It was a great learning experience. I learned my calves and shoulders were really tight muscles (boo for downward dog, which is supposed to be easy! haha) and that I was quite flexible in the hip region. I could feel my body tremble as I held some poses, could feel my muscles burn as they stretched more than like - ever, and I even broke a sweat. Yoga turned out to be much challenging than I ever thought possible, but in a good way. The instructor was awesome, helping me along the way and really motivated to want to come back. My thought is, I can only get better right!? Until next Thursday! :o)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
And the survey says.......
Last night I decided to make a transition into my fall self. While hair color doesn't mean alot to some people, some of us embrace the ability to make non permanent changes to our appearance for whatever reason. I have been doing the same thing to my hair for a while now...Blonde Highlights. But last night when I talked to my hair dresser I blurted out DARK BROWN! She said you sure? I was absolutely sure.
Naturally my hair is that ugly brown, its not light or dark - it is just blah. (which hopefully is not my true hair color personality lol) But last night while I was sitting in the chair waiting for my hair to process the thought of change excited me. While no, "I" haven't really changed, my hair has. So much pressure is put on our physical appearance.... Fat or thin, Tall or short, fashionable or not, blonde or brunette.... The truth is we are always getting judged on something. But changes in your hair, whether it is cut long or short or dyed a certain way, can make some of the most interesting impressions. Some say blondes have more fun, are dumb, and brunettes are the responsible ones, the girls you take home to mom- the boring girls. I honestly don't think I fit into either category entirely.... and maybe that is why I like to change things up a bit. I never do anything crazy... No extreme cuts or colors, (I still want to look normal) but I want my hair, my appearance to keep people wondering what truly makes me, because it's true-You can't truly judge a book by it's cover.
Naturally my hair is that ugly brown, its not light or dark - it is just blah. (which hopefully is not my true hair color personality lol) But last night while I was sitting in the chair waiting for my hair to process the thought of change excited me. While no, "I" haven't really changed, my hair has. So much pressure is put on our physical appearance.... Fat or thin, Tall or short, fashionable or not, blonde or brunette.... The truth is we are always getting judged on something. But changes in your hair, whether it is cut long or short or dyed a certain way, can make some of the most interesting impressions. Some say blondes have more fun, are dumb, and brunettes are the responsible ones, the girls you take home to mom- the boring girls. I honestly don't think I fit into either category entirely.... and maybe that is why I like to change things up a bit. I never do anything crazy... No extreme cuts or colors, (I still want to look normal) but I want my hair, my appearance to keep people wondering what truly makes me, because it's true-You can't truly judge a book by it's cover.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Back to reality
So last night was the end of my mini vacation. :o(
My mom and I spent a long weekend together in Boca Grande, Florida. It was just what the doctor ordered. Boca Grade if you don't know is a island on the south western side of Florida (about 2 hours south of Tampa). It is a small island and this time of year is considered off season. My mom and I basically had the place to ourselves. Not leaving the island but twice the whole weekend we had the most relaxing vacation possible. We rested, took a walk on the beach, watched TV, layed out, ate, read books, watched the sunset, we did whatever wanted to do. We basically turned both our cell phones off... Not many personal calls, no work phone calls, .... I took 4 days out of my "life", which I guess is exactly what a vacation is supposed to be.
I was glad to get some quality time hanging out with my mom. There is no pressure to be fun or to say the wrong or right thing. I can wear what I want, look ugly, talk about any subject or skeleton in my closet, just be me and it is totally fine. (You gotta love your mom for that unconditional love and acceptingness!) This weekend I got a break from responsibility, social pressures, my planner full of dates and activities....everything.
Bottom line, it was nice! Cheers to vacation/mental health days!!!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Promotion
I got very lucky when I graduated college to get offered a job in Nashville that I really enjoy. Coming from a business background in college and growing up in a rural community I was very fortunate to find a job that suited me. (Let's just say I definitely can't see any of my girl friends doing my job). And while yes, I am probably the most girly person in the office I think my background balances my personality with the work at hand. I enjoy coming to work every day facing my daily tasks and adding new ones, and I honestly miss my co-workers when I am absent-I hope they would say the same about me! :o) With that said I am proud to announce.... DRUM ROLL please!!! I got a promotion!
I see alot of my friends take jobs they can't stand and end up resenting their lives for doing something they don't enjoy. They dread getting up in the morning, going to work, and get through the day just so they can have the few hours they have after work and the weekends to live their lives. I am so thankful that is not the case for me. I get up and almost every day I roll into work with a big smile on my face ready to face the day. (trust me those not so morning people always stay away from me!) I have a job that offers me new challenges every day, that has a great mission and values, recognizes my accomplishments as an employee, my company serves as some of my closest friends and basically my family here in Nashville and I truly feel honored to work for my organization!
I see alot of my friends take jobs they can't stand and end up resenting their lives for doing something they don't enjoy. They dread getting up in the morning, going to work, and get through the day just so they can have the few hours they have after work and the weekends to live their lives. I am so thankful that is not the case for me. I get up and almost every day I roll into work with a big smile on my face ready to face the day. (trust me those not so morning people always stay away from me!) I have a job that offers me new challenges every day, that has a great mission and values, recognizes my accomplishments as an employee, my company serves as some of my closest friends and basically my family here in Nashville and I truly feel honored to work for my organization!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
It's Fall Y'all
So it is official! It chilly, windy, leaves are changing colors and falling.... It is officially autumn! Summer is definitely my favorite season but coming in a close second is fall. (minus the grotty rainy sad weather we are having today) But last night, I put on my flannel pjs, made my first batch of chili for the year and nestled myself on the couch. Where has 2009 gone!?
Monday, October 5, 2009
The south and FOOTBALL!
Football- I never really got into it much. Maybe it was because I was from KY and we always rooted for basketball or maybe it was the fact I didn't grow up close to any big football schools added to the fact my dad has never really been into sports. So that left me very disadvantaged when I moved down to Birmingham, where FOOTBALL is life. I went to school at Birmingham-Southern College and at that time we didn't have a football team (which made sense because every Saturday in the fall campus was deserted for either the Bama or Auburn game). That is when I realized I had missed a very fun and crazy part of life while living in the SEC.
Now don't get me wrong, I like football. I have a good basic understanding of the rules and it keeps my attention fairly well. But the part I lack is passion. I look at these Auburn fans, Gators fans, Tennessee fans or maybe not even college football (how bout them steelers! haha) and I see sheer dedication. They are sad when they loose and over excited when they win. They have pride enough to buy clothing and extra paraphernalia and drop tons of cash of tickets, hotels, concessions, ect.
I have been to a handful of games in the SEC. (Mostly Bama games ---can i get a ROLLL TIDE!?) But in the last 3 weeks I have been more immersed in football than ever before, especially this weekend. This weekend I went to the Tennessee/Auburn game in Knoxville and truly experienced for the first time- tailgating, getting a hotel room to go to a game, caring enough to plan the perfect outfit to wear in game day colors and completely being surrounded by die hard fans. At that point I was a slight bit jealous that the passion that ran through their veins was missing in mine. How do you gain enthusiasm like that... Go to school there? Family roots for a certain team? Boyfriends are die hard fans? I honestly don't know (since alot of those die hard fans seems a slight bit crazy to me lol) but even if I never have my own "team" to cheer for I at least felt like for one weekend, I was a football fan. I rooted, cheered, had a pom-pom and everything and had a blast in the process!
Now don't get me wrong, I like football. I have a good basic understanding of the rules and it keeps my attention fairly well. But the part I lack is passion. I look at these Auburn fans, Gators fans, Tennessee fans or maybe not even college football (how bout them steelers! haha) and I see sheer dedication. They are sad when they loose and over excited when they win. They have pride enough to buy clothing and extra paraphernalia and drop tons of cash of tickets, hotels, concessions, ect.
I have been to a handful of games in the SEC. (Mostly Bama games ---can i get a ROLLL TIDE!?) But in the last 3 weeks I have been more immersed in football than ever before, especially this weekend. This weekend I went to the Tennessee/Auburn game in Knoxville and truly experienced for the first time- tailgating, getting a hotel room to go to a game, caring enough to plan the perfect outfit to wear in game day colors and completely being surrounded by die hard fans. At that point I was a slight bit jealous that the passion that ran through their veins was missing in mine. How do you gain enthusiasm like that... Go to school there? Family roots for a certain team? Boyfriends are die hard fans? I honestly don't know (since alot of those die hard fans seems a slight bit crazy to me lol) but even if I never have my own "team" to cheer for I at least felt like for one weekend, I was a football fan. I rooted, cheered, had a pom-pom and everything and had a blast in the process!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Groundhogs Day....
Put your little hands in mine, Ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb. Babe, I got you babe.....Sometimes I wake up and I fill like Phil from the movie Groundhogs Day hearing that song go off every morning over and over..... I wake up, shower, get dressed, rush to work, sit there for 8 hours, go home, fill the evening with the same monotonous crap, go to sleep and then start all over. See even you just got bored reading about my life. But this feeling I am referring too.... I felt it today. It was like my life was deja vu or a rerun; the same food, same drama, same conversations, same people, the same work, the same EVERYTHING!
Groundhogs day is one of my favorite movies. Maybe it is because even though I know there is no way it's possible, somehow the movie puts how we, well I guess I, feel on the occasion in a 2 hour film based off living 1 day over and over. Phil originally looses the meaning of his life, feeling that living the same day over and over leaves him with no purpose in living anymore. But the story takes a turn and he decides to make something out of his 1 day; He makes new friends, works on improving his existing friendships, takes on new hobbies, and learns to appreciate all the good things that pass his way. When we get down and hit that point in life when we fill like a re-run this movie reminds me the importance of 1 single day in your life.
What I forgot to mention when I told you about my everyday life is all the parts that actually make my day.... The parts I forget about so often when I feel like Phil.
I forgot to mention taking sewing classes, or trying at least 1 new recipe a week, giving a dollar to the homeless man on the sidewalk and getting a hug, kickball, sorority alumnae club meetings, how happy I am when I get snail mail, having lunch with my work friends, book club, happy hour with my girls, having an hour long phone convo with my out of town friends, chatting with a cute boy, when my roommate's cat cuddles with me, talking to my mom everyday on the way home from work, baking cookies for coworkers, working out, smiling at someone to see them smile back....
Times like today is when I need to realize it's not just the big things in life that make it worth while, it is the every day normal things that paints the big picture and makes the picture worth the look.
Groundhogs day is one of my favorite movies. Maybe it is because even though I know there is no way it's possible, somehow the movie puts how we, well I guess I, feel on the occasion in a 2 hour film based off living 1 day over and over. Phil originally looses the meaning of his life, feeling that living the same day over and over leaves him with no purpose in living anymore. But the story takes a turn and he decides to make something out of his 1 day; He makes new friends, works on improving his existing friendships, takes on new hobbies, and learns to appreciate all the good things that pass his way. When we get down and hit that point in life when we fill like a re-run this movie reminds me the importance of 1 single day in your life.
What I forgot to mention when I told you about my everyday life is all the parts that actually make my day.... The parts I forget about so often when I feel like Phil.
I forgot to mention taking sewing classes, or trying at least 1 new recipe a week, giving a dollar to the homeless man on the sidewalk and getting a hug, kickball, sorority alumnae club meetings, how happy I am when I get snail mail, having lunch with my work friends, book club, happy hour with my girls, having an hour long phone convo with my out of town friends, chatting with a cute boy, when my roommate's cat cuddles with me, talking to my mom everyday on the way home from work, baking cookies for coworkers, working out, smiling at someone to see them smile back....
Times like today is when I need to realize it's not just the big things in life that make it worth while, it is the every day normal things that paints the big picture and makes the picture worth the look.
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